Eazy Boots
One ov the eazyest things in this world iz a loose boot, it iz just az eazy az falling oph from a log, when yu are fast asleep. The man who fust invented tite boots committed suiside, so i hav been told, this waz kind in the phellow. But if he had committed suiside before he had been born, it would hav been kinder still. Eazy boots are one ov the luxurys ov life, what the other luxurys are i dont kno, and dont kare. Enney man who kan wear a tite boot, and enjoy it, iz either a martyr, or a phool, it makes but little difference which. Tite boots produce korns, bunyons, and swareing, and thare iz only one thing kan be said in their favour, they make a man forgit all hiz other sorrows. An eazy boot will humanize a sinner faster than two mishionary kan. Vanity iz the Godfather ov tite boots, and just so long az men mistake a number eleven foot, for a number nine boot, just so long we shall see them limping around, with boots on two sizes too small. Next to a klear conshience, for solid cumfort, and every day wear, cums an eazy boot.
Hits
After trieing for more than 35 years to hav mi own way in all things, i have finally cum to the konklushun, to split the difference.
Everyboddy seems to konsider himself a kind ov moral half bushel, to meazzure the worlds frailtys in.
Mules are like sum men, very corrupt at harte.—I hav known them to be good mules for 6 months, just to git a good chance to kik sumboddy= Josh Billings=
Yu kant do ennything fust rate with a flea on yu,—except sware, and fleas aint afrade ov that.=
Yures respekfully. Josh Billings=
Q.–What’s yure favourite flower?
A.
—Buckwheat flour.
Another boy rushes to serve him,
But our hero wont stand it no how,
So he pockets the kuntryman’s munny,
And fixes himself for a row.