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Josh Billings’ Farmer’s Allminax

by Josh Billings

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The Muskeeter

Muskeeters are a game bug, but they wont bite at a hook. Thare iz millyuns ov them kaught every year, but not with a hook, this makes the market for them unstiddy, the supply allways exceeding the demand. The muskeeto iz born on the sly, and cums to maturity quicker than enny other ov the domestik animiles. A muskeeter at 3 hours old iz just az reddy, and anxious, to go into bizzness for himself, az ever he iz, and bites the fust time az sharp, and natral, az red pepper duz. The muskeeter haz a good ear for musik, and sings without notes. The song ov the musketo iz monotonous to sum folks, but in me it stirs up the memorys ov other days. I hav lade awake, all nite long, menny a time and listened to the sweet anthems ov the muskeeter. I am satisfied that thare want nothing made in vain, but i kant help thinking how mighty kluss the musketoze kum to it. The muskeeter haz inhabited this world since its kreashun, and will probably hang around here until bizzness closes. Whare the muskeeter goes to in the winter iz a standing konumdrum, which all the naturalists hav giv up, but we kno he dont go far, for he iz on hand early each year with hiz probe fresh ground, and polished. Muskeeters must be one ov the luxurys ov life, they certainly aint one ov the necessarys, not if we kno ourselfs.

Snow Balls

Thare iz a time for all things, and the best time to hold our tungs, iz when we feel az tho we had the most to say.


The man who gambles, or drinks whiskey, kant chooze hiz assoshiates.

If yu trade horses with a jockey yu kant git cheated but once.—but if yu trade with a deakon yu may git cheated twice.—once in the horse, and once in the deakon =

Perhaps. Josh Billings

Patience iz a good thing for a man to hav. but when he haz got so mutch ov it. that he kan fish all day long, without enny bate on hiz hook,—Lazyness, iz what’s the matter ov him.=

Exackly so. Josh Billings


GEMINI, THE TWINS.
Dubletts—a lucky throw.

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