Sighns and Wonders for the Year 1874
Whenever yu see a yung man hanging around a korner grosery, and drinking 3 cent gin every time he kan git enny boddy tew ask him, yu kan make up yure mind that he haz bin unanimously nominated for the stait prizon, and will probably git his elekshun.
Whenever yu see an old goose setting on a post hole, and trieing tew hatch the hole out, yu kan cum tew the konklushun that she is strikly a one idee goose.
Whenever a forlorn kat gits under yure windo, in a hot nite, and begins tew holler, yu may kno that kat wants sumthing,—killing, probberbly.
Whenever yu see a dog stop suddintly, in the road, with a flee onto him, and begin tew flea round, and round, after himself, untill he falls down, and rools over, yu will say tew yureself, that dorg iz like the wicked, he fleas, when no man perseweth.