Artikles Ov Faith
Heaven bless the stummuk ake, if it want for this, menny ov us deakons wouldn’t hav no good excuse for hot rum.
The saddest ov all sights sad in this world, iz a child with a broken spirit.
Man kant make cirkumstanses, but he kan take them bi the horns, insted ov the tale.
Dont parade yure sorrows before the world, but bury them az the dogs do their old bones, and then growl if enny boddy offers to dig them up.
Klubs are a place whare most people go to git rid ov themselfs.
A trained child to me iz a kind ov horror, i like to see them rekless with innosense.
The boy who iz pikt out to be the genius ov the family is allwuss sure to be the biggest dohed in the whole lot.
The only way to tire a phool out, iz to listen to him, and agree to every thing he sez =
Affekshionately Josh Billings
I hav seen men load a dubble barrell gun klear up to the muzzell, to kill a chipping bird with, and git knokt hed over heels, when. the gun went off.—and miss the bird besides.=
A literal fakt, Josh Billings
Q.–What kind ov a pen do plagarists use?
A.
—A steal pen.
Thou mewel!—thou art mi horror,—
Desaitfull, and dang’rous kritter,—
Az humbly az satan himself,
And besides a pizon hitter.