Fun
Fun is the cheapest fisick that haz bin diskovered yet, and the eazyest to take. Fun pills are sugar coated, and no change ov diet iz necessary while taking them. A little fun will sumtimes go a grate ways, i hav known men to liv to a good old age on one joke, which they managed to tell az often az once a day, and do all the laffing themselves besides that waz done. But thare iz lots ov pholks who kant see enny phun in enny thing, yu couldn’t fire a joke into them with a double barrell gun, 10 paces off, they go thru life az sollum az a cow. Menny people think it iz beneath their dignity to relish a joke, sutch people are simply fools, and dont seem to kno it. The Billings family are allwuss on the lookout for fun, it iz sed ov Dexter Billings, one ov our pristines, that he had to be kept under 500 dollar bonds all the time, to keep him from laffing in church. Ackordin to all ackounts this Dexter Billings waz a cuss. Fun iz the pepper and salt ov every day life, and all he really wiz men who hav ever lived, hav used it freely for seazoning.
Hear Yee
The man who kan set himself to work, at enny thing, on 5 minnitts notiss, haz got one of the best trades i kno ov.
Virtew that kant whip Vice, in a fair stand up fite, enny time, aint worth having.
Q.–What’s yure favourite style of buty?
A.
—Mi mother’s.
“Er’es the Errald, Times, Sun, World, and Tribune,”
Iz the yung merchants ear piercing kry,
“Got the orfull smash up on the rale rode,”—
And a kuntryman stops him to buy.