The Kroton Bug
The kroton bug are dirty blak kusses, without enny pedigree, and ov no more use than an extra fli in a plate ov soup. They hang around wet and damp places, and are all the time either going in, or comeing out, ov every krak in that naborhood. Thare iz no begining, nor end, to their number, and if yu bore a hole with a gimblet, enny whare near a plug basin, the next day the krotons will be az thick around it, az tho a nu 3 cent gin mill had just been opened thare. What they liv on no naturalist knows, or dassent tell, and yu kant git rid ov them, enny more than you kan skare the flies out ov a sugar hogshed, by hollering at them. They are allwuss on the move like a grasshopper, but what they are about, or would like to hav, they kant even tell them selfs. Thare iz a powder advertized which they say will klean the kroton bugs all out ov the house in 4 days. I am no gambler, but i will give the powder 7 days the start, and then bet on the bugs. Thare is only one sure way to git the krotons out ov a house, burn up the house and let a strong east wind blo the ashes away.
Dwell
The devil allwuss keeps the gide boards that lead to hiz dominions, fresh painted, and in good order.
I never knu a man yet who waz allwuss watching his helth, to die enny whare near az soon az he expekted to.
Q.–Define a pig.
A.
—Pork in pantaletts.
For two years John lived on nothing,
And walkt like a ghost on a raid,
’Till he lookt like the piktur abuv,
Which kost us a “V” to hav made.