The Sandy Hill Crane
The crane iz neither flesh, nor foul, but a sad mixtur ov theze two things. He mopes along the banks ov kreeks, and wet places, looking for sumthing he haz lost. He haz a long bill, long wings, long legs, and iz long all over. He livs upon lizzards, and frogs, and sleeps standing on one leg, like a gide board. Sumtimes he tips over in hiz dreams, and then hiz bill enters the ground like a pikax. When he flies thru the air he iz az gracephull az a wind mill that haz broke away from its fastenings. Cranes are not very plenty on this earth, but at the last quotations, the supply just about equals the demand.
Blossoms
The reputashun that a man gits from hiz ansesstors often wants az mutch altering to fit him, az their old clothes would.
How menny people thare are in this world who work for the devil all the time, and then look to the lord for their pay.
I dont never expekt to hav enny Poodle, but if i ever do, he must make up hiz mind to be tied onto a long stik every Saturday and be used for washing windows on the outside=
Jess so. Josh Billings.
If i kan hav all the salt makrell i want for brekfasst, I kan manage to make the other two meals out ov kold water.=
Yes. Josh Billings.
Q.–Will yu define luck?
A.
—Luck iz driftwood.
This Nu Foundland weighs 94 pounds,
And to save children iz willing,
If yu haint no pond, nor children to save,
The dog aint worth a shilling.