September Misscellany
Sagittarius, the Zodiak Boman
Sagittarius iz the William Tell ov the zodiak. He kan hit an apple on the top ov Virgo’s hed 200 paces oph, and not only halve the apple into quarters, but knok the seeds 27 different direkshuns. He wins the cigars at all the target excursions in the zodiak. In shooting at a muskeeter once who had lighted onto the tail ov Leo, he aimed a leetle too delikate, and dekapitated the dorsal extenshun ov Leo. This waz looked upon bi all the other phellows in the zodiak az a supplementary shot. Leo waz laid up in the horsepittol for 6 months, but hiz codicil gru out about 2 foot more than it waz before. Sagittarius iz the comik genius ov the zodiak, and on fourth of Julys shutes pennys oph from a stik, injun fashion. In the zodiak sighns Sagittarius oversees the thighs, but for what I dont seem tew kno.
For Immejiate Adopshun
A mail child, Eleven months old, well broke tew the bottle, 9 teeth kut, lite sunset hair, without spot or blemish, no parents ov enny ackount, hard tew kry, dont bite, shows sighns ov genius, and haz had wackshination.
Enquire within.
I never question a suckcess enny more than I do the right ov a bull dog to lie in hiz own gateway.=
no I dont, Josh Billings.=
The diffrence between a mistake, and a blunder.
When a man sets down a poor umbreller, and takes up a good one, he makes a mistake, but when he sets down a good umbreller, and takes up a poor one, he makes a blunder.=
Excuse haste. Josh Billings
Q.–When duz a fly git badly stuck?
A.
—When he fools with mollassis.
When puter knives went oph slo,
Joel waz a kunning kuss,
He could just turn to and swop
An old hoss dredful cluss.