Febuary Monograph
This month haz but 28 days, the extreme kold weather that prevails haz puckered up the month. Once in four years thare iz a big melt and then the month swells, and haz 29 days. This month iz looked upon az unpleasant, and it iz unpleasant for digging out woodchucks, but for setting in front of the fire, and skinning apples, and snapping the seeds at the galls, it kant be beat. The name ov this month is derived from an old Chinese word (now lost) which means condem kold.
Useful Hints Tew Boardin House Keepers
In buying roast beef, dont forgit, that roast beef, tew be bully, must be tuff.
Be kerful how yu soke yure makrel, too mutch sokeing, takes the wear out ov them.
In selekting a yung goose for yure table, dont forgit tew remember, that the longer a goose has lived in this world, the more experience he will hav, when he cums tew be chawed.
Keep a cow, and then the milk wont hav tew be watered but once.
Q.–What iz the best kure for lazyness?
A.–Milking a cow on the run, and living on the milk.
Bring out yure bran nu cutter,
And git yure galls consent,
Then hitch up Dobbin, or sum other kruttur,
And let the animile went.