The Loafer
The loafer iz a thing who iz willing to be dispized for the privilege ov abusing others. He occupys all grades in sosiety from the judge on the bench clear down to the ragged kritter who leans aginst the lamp posts, and fites flies in August. He haz no pride that iz worthy, and no delikasy that enny boddy kan hurt. During his boyhood he kills kats, and robs all the hens nests in the naborhood. During hiz middle life he begs all the tobacco he uses, and drinks all the cheap whiskey he kan at sumboddy else’s expense. During hiz old age he winters in the alms houses, and summers in the sugar hogsheds, and when he cums to die, he iz buried in a dich, like an omnibuss horse, with hiz old shuze on. The loafer cares nothing for publik opinyun, and this alone, will make enny man a loafer. The loafer rather covets disgrase, and when a man gits az low down az this, he haz got az low down az he kan git in this world without digging. We hav no reliable ackount ov the fust loafer, and probably shant hav ov the last one, but in mi opinyun, they hav existed just about az long az man haz. If Cain want a loafer, pray what waz he?
Tit Bits
Woman hav allwuss been more than a match for man, Adam held the best kards, but he didn’t kno how to play them well.
Thare iz one trait ov the human karakter that the devil himself must envy, and that iz, the more we hav injured a man, the more we dispize him.
Q.–Who fust struk ile?
A.
—Jonah
Long, lank, lean, and lemon colored,
An orphan, without friends, or place,
A target for every ones brik bat,
The yaller dog runs a dusty race.