August Monograph
This month, for sum reazon, haz got a hot way ov doing things. Awl natur unties her corsets and loafs bi the side ov brooks, with stockingless feet, tew ketch the cool words ov singing waters, and watch the bubles ov sweet, that rize on the noze ov the green frog, az they set down on themselfs, on the moss upholstered stones.
Butter spreads itself freely during this month. Snakes slip eazy, and Cupid crawls behind the shadder ov a dieing roze, and shutes hiz gun at the galls, and boys.
Things Worth Knowing
Tew milk a kicking cow, stand oph about 10 foot, and holler “So I darn you.”
Tew make light bread, do az the bakers do,—call 9 ounces a pound.
Tew make oxtale soup, bile an ox in a pot, and let the caudel continuation hang over the edge ov the pot and drip.
Tew git at the solid kontents ov yure wife’s tongue, be verry sweet with the new skool mom in yure distrikt.
Tew break a mule—commence at his head.
Q.–What iz the capacity ov an omnibus?
A.–The same az a grave yard, it takes all that cums.
Now chop doun oats.
And hew doun barley,
Rize with the sun,
And go tew bed arly.