Simple Remidiz

Tew kure the bight ov a krab, soke the krab’s feet in bileing hot water.

Tew find the kontents ov a gallon ov whiskee, multiply a pint ov fusil ile bi 8 pints ov Venice turpentine.

Tew kure the gout, liv on Boston krackers, and saw wood for 25 cents a kord.

Tew make a goose good eating, bring her up tenderly.

Tew keep kats from being et up bi rats, muzzle the rats.

Q.–How did robins git their name?
A.–By robin cherry-trees.

The farmer leads an eazy life,
12 hours a day ends hiz labors,
Evenings pares apples for cider sass,
Or hauls over the coals hiz nabors.