The Mizer
The mizer digs hiz heart out hollow to stow away hiz munny in. He akumulates bi littles, and never opens hiz harte, only on a krak, to let another shilling in. An old mizer iz a sad sight enuff, but next to an ideot, a yung mizer iz the most revolting thing on earth. Mizers enjoy what they dont use, looze what they save, and die possessed ov the only treasure that iz ov no use to them. The most terrible sarkasm iz a mizers phuneral, the heir often makes it gorgeous, and expensiv, and then pitches hedlong into the pile the old phool haz left.
Chalk Marks
Advice iz generally like the bred and cheese we giv to beggars, thrown over into the fust vacant lot they cum to.
Bigots, enthusiasts, and clothes pins, all hav the same sized heds on them.
Q.–Pleze to define buty?
A.
—Buty iz a blank catridge.
Short haired, and nervous az a ghost,
Answering to “Bill,” or “Ned” or “Fan,”
Death on rats, and sirloin steak,
Behold the sparkling, Black and Tan.