Family Noshuns
To pick out a tender goose, pinch him, and if he squeals, buy him.
To make good sharp pickles, whittle oph both ends ov them tew a pint.
To find how fur a frog kan jump, set a Frenchman to meazureing hiz jumps.
To git the affectashun out ov a man, make him sea sick, (when a man iz sea sick he iz inclined tew thro up all phoolish things).
Thare iz nothing so hard for us to understand, and so eazy for others, az that we hav fiddled our tune out.=
Kindly yure. Josh Billings
Thare iz no man so poor but what he kan afford to keep one dog,—and i hav seen them so poor, that they could afford to keep three.=
J. Billings Esq
Q.–What waz the name of Shakspear’s dog?
A.–Dog-Berry.
Now plant oats and gardin sass,
Yoke geese, and black snakes kill;
Set hens; set traps for thieving rats;
Set what you please, but don’t set still.