Choice Old Receipts

To learn a kat how tew bite—feed her on kat nip tea.

To remove goose pimples (from a goose)—loose the goose.

To kure a weak back—lay still for a week ahead.

To make yure mark—fall out ov a third story windo.

To ketch a bad kold—lay down on the ground, and watch for it, bi moonlite.

Kats are plenty. I kounted 18 from mi boarding hous window one night last summer—and it wasn’t a fust rate nite for kats neither.=

A sollum fakt. Josh Billings

One ov the most unfortunate men in this world—iz a third rate fiddler,=

Yure warm friend
Josh Billings

Q.–Who got the fust caneing?
A.

—Abel.

Now in the ground hide unyun seed,
Bury korn, and beetz, and lettiss;
Chuck in sum peas, and lima beans,
If the arth dont seem tew wettish.