Soloman Billings
Hiz Memorandum
Soloman Billings waz born the 26th ov May, 1322, old stile. He waz knone fur and near for hiz chunks ov wisdum, but, like Soloman ov old, he could talk wisdum better than he could do it. This iz the way with all the wize men i hav met lately. Soloman Billings waz a leetle slippery, but he managed tew git thru life without slipping down mutch, and died reazonably well. He waz sed, bi all who knu him, tew be chuk full ov wisdum; he could tell, bi looking at the egg, how mutch a goslin would weigh before it waz born, and when the best time waz tew set a hen or a gate-post. Sol’s mouth waz full ov wisdum; litening couldn’t strike a tree, just for fun, but what he would preach a moral sermon from the tex. He waz dredful sertain ov what he did kno, and want the least bit unsertain ov what he didn’t kno. I find in digging down tew the hard pan ov Soloman, mi ansesstor, that he had a grate deal ov vanity, a large amount ov impudense, a good supply ov inkredulity, just the things, for all the world, tew make a wize phool out of. He died az aforesed, and i look bak upon him az one who haz departed this life. Adew, Soloman, mi ansesstor. Deth iz tuff. Sumwhat! I will add, quite.
Moral
Wisdom chunks are chunkier far,
Than all the chunks that chunky ar.
Josh Billings Ultimatum.
The man who kan wear a paper collar, a whole week, and keep it klean,—aint good for enny thing else.=
Jess so, Josh Billings.
Josh Billings, and the Bull.
Never take the Bull bi the horns Yung Man, but take him bi the tale. Then yu kan let go when yu want to.=
Yure warm friend, Josh Billings
Q.–What iz ignorance?
A.
—Raw happiness.
The skule kommitty made him work,
(How krewel and unphealling,)
For less than a bartender gits,
And nary chance for stealing.