More Opportunity
The Wife: “Really, my dear, you are awfully extravagant. Our neighbor, Mr. Flint, is just twice as self-denying as you are.”
The Husband: “But he has just twice as much money to be self-denying with.”
“Jacky, dear, your hands are frightfully dirty.”
“Not ‘frightfully,’ mummy. A lot of that’s shading.”
The Ant: “Well, we’ve struck!”
The Gnat: “What for?”
The Ant: “Longer hours.”
Effie: “George and I have been down-stairs in the dining-room, Mr. Mitcham. We’ve been playing Husband and Wife!”
Mr. Mitcham: “How did you do that, my dear?”
Effie: “Why, Georgy sat at one end of the table, and I sat at the other; and Georgy said, ‘This food isn’t fit to eat!’ and I said, ‘It’s all you’ll get!’ and Georgy said, ‘Damn!’ and I got up and left the room!”