A Consoling Thought
Belated Traveller (surprised by a bull when taking a short cut to the station): “By jove! I believe I shall catch that train after all.”
Life’s Difficulties
Mother: “Why, what’s the matter, darling?”
Small daughter (tearfully): “Oh, Mums, I do so want to give this worm to my hen.”
Mother: “Then why don’t you?”
Small daughter (with renewed wails): “‘C-cos I’m so afraid the worm won’t like it.”
“Does God make lions, Mother?”
“Yes, dear.”
“But isn’t he frightened to?”
“Excuse me, officer, but have you seen any pickpockets about here with a handkerchief marked ‘Susan’?”
Mrs. Green to Mrs. Jones (who is gazing at an aeroplane): “My word! I shouldn’t care for one of them flying things to settle on me.”
The Woman: “Jazz stockings are the latest thing, dear. Here’s a picture of a girl with them on.”
The Man: “What appalling rot! Er—after you with the paper.”
Small Invalid (to visitor): “I’ve had a lot of diseases in my time—measles—whooping-cough—influenza—tonsilitis—but (modestly) I haven’t had dropsy yet.”