Probably
“I want to buy you something useful for your birthday. What can you suggest?”
“Oh! I think a really useful diamond ring would do as well as anything.”
Sure Signs
“Afraid you’re going to have insomnia? What are the symptoms?”
“Twins.”
Such a Waste
Mrs. Bizzy: “I am so sorry to hear that your wife has been throwing the crockery at you again, Casey. Where did she hit you?”
Casey: “Faith, Ma’am! That’s what Oi do be afther complainin’ av. ’Twas a whole set av dishes broke to pieces an’ she niver hit me wanst.”