Qualified
The Leading Woman: “How does Garrette rank as an actor?”
The Comedian: “He doesn’t—he is.”
Claiming Acquaintance
Chimmie: “Dat’s McCorker de heavy-weight—me cousin used ter go ter school wid’m.”
Billie: “Dat ain’t nuthin’—me brudder had t’ree front teet’ knocked out by’m onct.”
From the Heart
The Wife: “I have not been able to wear my new hat yet on account of the weather.”
The Husband: “Humph! And I suppose by the time it clears up the fashion will have changed.”
The Reporter: “I beg pardon, but would you be kind enough to tell me what blow you will knock Fitzmuggins out with to-morrow night?”
Sledge-hammer Mike: “De solar plexus.”
The Reporter: “And er—if you get beaten, what will your—er—weak spot have been?”