Half Guilty — 568
A man was on trial for entering a house in Philadelphia in the night time, with intent to steal. The testimony was clear that he had made an opening sufficiently large to admit the upper part of his body, and through which he protruded himself about half way, and, stretching out his arm, committed the theft. Mr. Obfusticate Brief addressed the jury. “What an outrage (looking horrified, and with outstretched and trembling arms)! I repeat, what an outrage upon your common sense it is for the State’s Attorney to ask at your hands the conviction of my client on such testimony! The law is against entering a house, and can a man be said to enter a house when only one-half of his body is in, and the other half out?” The jury brought in a verdict of “guilty,” as to one-half of his body, from his waist up, and “not guilty” as to the other half! The judge sentenced the guilty half to one year’s imprisonment, leaving it to the prisoner’s option to have the innocent half cut off, or to take it along with him.