Why the War Goes On — 355
The soldiers at Helena, in Arkansas, used to amuse the inhabitants of that place, on their first arrival, by telling them yarns, of which the following is a sample:—“Some time ago Jeff Davis got tired of the war, and invited President Lincoln to meet him on neutral ground to discuss the terms of peace. They met accordingly, and, after a talk, concluded to settle the war by dividing the territory and stopping the fighting. The North took the Northern States, and the South the Gulf and sea-board Southern States. Lincoln took Texas and Missouri, and Davis Kentucky and Tennessee; so that all were parcelled off excepting Arkansas. Lincoln didn’t want it—Jeff wouldn’t have it. Neither would consent to take it, and on that they split; and the war has been going on ever since.”