Editors Exchanging Compliments — 254
The Louisville Journal—an impudent, one-horse Kentucky concern, conducted by a walking whisky-bottle—says that one of our correspondents deprived it of its maps and despatches from Sherman’s army. The Journal is unable to pay even wages to its correspondents, and relies upon us for the news. Our correspondent purchased the maps and intelligence referred to from one of the starving reporters of the Journal, in order to save him from putting an end to his miserable existence, since he could live no longer on the bottle of Bourbon a week with which the Journal supplied him. The Western editors are all whisky-bottles, their reporters are all whisky, and their papers have all the fumes of that beverage without any of its strength. So much for the slanders of the Louisville Journal.—(New York Herald.) From the Louisville Journal:—This paragraph is the one to which, without having seen it, we referred yesterday in our notice of W. F. G. Shanks, a war correspondent of the New York Herald. That paper says that its correspondent purchased from ours the map and the intelligence referred to; this is the map and the rebel newspapers mentioned by us yesterday. This is all a base and unmitigated falsehood. The map was given to the Herald’s correspondent upon a condition which he scandalously violated, and he feloniously broke the seals of the papers and stole their contents for the use of his thieving employers. The employers and the employé, instead of throwing a stone at us, ought to be pecking the article in the State prison. It is not supposable that any paper on earth could have aught to gain from a dispute with the New York Herald. The editor of that concern is so low down that fifty millstones around his neck, waist, arms, and legs, couldn’t sink him lower. Notoriously, he has been oftener kicked and horsewhipped than any other man in the United States. Whoever has had the slightest fancy for horsewhipping or kicking him has done it. The licence to operate on him in either way, or both, couldn’t have been more perfect if he had worn the word “to let” in chalk-marks upon his shoulders and coat-tail. When he has waked up each morning, his reflection has been, “Now, is it to be a horsewhipping or a kicking to-day?” and occasionally it has been both, eked out with a smart nose-pulling. In fact, his nose has been so frequently twisted that it is an entirely one-sided affair, and we think that in common fairness “the twister” should be sentenced by a court of justice to “untwist the twist.” The editor of the Herald is said to have a great deal of money, but his kicks far exceed his coppers. The only time he was ever known to thank God was when sharp-toed boots and shoes were changed to square-toed. It is said that by long experience he could always tell, when kicked, whether the application was made by boots, shoes, brogans, or slippers; at what particular store the article was bought, what was its cost, what its quality, and whether it was made of the hide of Durhams, short-horned Alderneys, Herefords, or Devons. When cattle were killed, it was a frequent understanding that while the fat was to be tried on the fire the leather was to be tried on the editor of the Herald. He is regarded as being undoubtedly the best judge of leather in New York; not that he is a leather-dealer, but that leather-dealers have had so much to do with him. He has come so often in contact with leather that the part of him chiefly concerned has itself become leather; so he not only walks upon leather when he walks, but sits upon leather when he sits. The editor of the Herald has lived a good deal longer than he ought to have done, but it is to be hoped that he can’t live always. And if he ever dies, his hide should be tanned to leather—that is, the small portion of it that hasn’t already been—his hair used as shoemaker’s bristles, and his bones made into shoeing-horns.