§ 340 A Touch of the Swedish
Personally I do not know a great many persons of Swedish birth. But those Swedes I have met struck me nearly always as being keen-witted. Nevertheless, it is customary among after-dinner speakers, at least, when telling a yarn purporting to deal with slow thinking, to make the central character of it a Swede, and preferably a Swede farmer.
For instance, there is the classic of the Wisconsin politician who, in the presidential campaign of 1912, toured the back districts of his native state to electioneer for his party. In a remote neighborhood he came upon a tall Scandinavian sitting on a log in a clearing. The stranger hauled up his team and greeted the resident, who replied with a nod.
The politician explained that he was sounding out the sentiment in the district.
“What do you think about Wilson?” he asked.
“Aye don’t know,” drawled the other.
“Well, how about Roosevelt?”
“Aye don’t know.”
“Maybe you like Taft?”
The alien shook his tawny head dumbly.
“Well, now, look here then, you must have some opinion,” said the visitor. “You and your neighbors must have talked the thing over among yourselves. Who do you think has the best show?”
The simple Swede gave this question lengthy consideration. Then, with a faint change of expression, he said:
“Aye tank Ringling Brothers got the best show.”
Then there is the time-honored yarn of the Swede farm-hand in Minnesota who, on the witness stand, was called upon by the attorney for the railroad to furnish details touching on the tragic death of a companion.
“Aye tell you,” he answered. “Me and Ole we bane walkin’ on railroad track. Train come by and Aye yump off track. By and by, when train is gone, Aye don’t see Ole any more, so Aye walk on and pretty soon Aye see one of Ole’s arms on one side of track and one of Ole’s legs on other side of track, and then pretty soon Aye see Ole’s head, but Ole’s body is not there, so Aye stop and Aye say to myself, ‘By Yupiter, something must a’ happened to Ole!’”