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‹Better GutenbergA Laugh a Day Keeps the Doctor Away§ 172 — Remodeling the Calendar · 173 of 367Contents›

A Laugh a Day Keeps the Doctor Away

by Irvin S. Cobb

173 of 367 · Contents · Download EPUB

§ 172 Remodeling the Calendar

August Winestopper ran a family liquor store in the day when there were family liquor stores. Mr. Winestopper’s knowledge of English was somewhat circumscribed but, as events were to prove, his business sagacity was profound.

In the early part of the summer business, for some reason or other, fell off considerably. While Mr. Winestopper, was canvassing in his own mind the possible causes for this shrinkage in normal neighborhood consumption of wet goods other discomfiting things began to occur. The agent for the owner of the premises waited upon him and told him that, beginning the following month, the rent would be advanced $600 per annum. The two barkeepers notified him that the barkeepers’ union had passed a rule calling for an increase in the wage scale. He got a summons for an alleged violation of the Sunday closing law and was confronted by the prospect that, if found guilty, he would pay a heavy fine. The brewery sent him word that the price of beer shortly would go up.

Mr. Winestopper considered the situation in all of its various and disturbing phases. Then he took a piece of chalk and on the mirror behind the bar he wrote, where all might read, the following ultimatum:

“The first of July will be the last of August!”

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