§ 101 The Perils of Pranking
There was a homicide trial going on in the mountains of West Virginia. A lanky native took the stand to testify to the good character and peaceful disposition of the prisoner at the bar. When he had given the accused a glowing testimonial the prosecuting attorney took him in hand for cross-examination.
“Look here,” he demanded: “isn’t that the mark of an old knife cut you’ve got across the lobe of your left ear?”
“Yas, suh; it is.”
“Well, who inflicted that wound?”
“Bill, thar, he done it, one time.”
“By ‘Bill’ you mean the defendant here?”
“Yep.”
“I see you also have the scar of a bullet wound in your right cheek. Who made that?”
“Bill.”
“On still another occasion didn’t Bill, as you call him, gouge one of your eyes almost out?”
“That’s a fact, too.”
“Now, then, in view of the injuries you yourself admit having sustained at his hands, how do you reconcile your sworn statements of a minute ago that the defendant is an individual of peaceable and law-abiding nature, and a good neighbor?”
“Well, suh,” said the witness, “Bill is one of the nicest fellers ever you seen in your life; but I must say this—he’s a powerful onlikely pusson to prank with!”