Read A Laugh a Day Keeps the Doctor Away by Irvin S. Cobb Online

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1Dedication — Foreword
2§ 1 — The Untraveled Stranger
3§ 2 — The Prudent Mr. Finnerty
4§ 3 — Enough for Wilkins
5§ 4 — Why the Major Didn’t Suit
6§ 5 — Grandfather Laughed at This One
7§ 6 — The Day Denver Was Surprised
8§ 7 — And Worth the Money, Too!
9§ 8 — The Spirit of Seventy-six, With Improvements
10§ 9 — Protecting the Gentler Sex
11§ 10 — Not at All Singular
12§ 11 — Strictly in Confidence
13§ 12 — He Didn’t Believe in Signs
14§ 13 — Advice to Charlie Chaplin
15§ 14 — What Aunt Myra Desired
16§ 15 — When the Dawn of Understanding Came
17§ 16 — As Translated Into the English
18§ 17 — Absolutely No Hurry About It
19§ 18 — One Who Desired to Know
20§ 19 — The Poor Aim of Mr. Zeno
21§ 20 — Curing the Great Thirst
22§ 21 — The Ways of the Army
23§ 22 — Remote From the Real Centers
24§ 23 — The Way of the Neighborhood
25§ 24 — A Radical Difference Noted
26§ 25 — Where the Partnership Dissolved
27§ 26 — Absolutely Unfitted for the Rôle
28§ 27 — The Careful MacTavish
29§ 28 — The Sway of Eloquence
30§ 29 — The Unuttered Wish
31§ 30 — The Gift of Tongues
32§ 31 — He Lacked Storage Space
33§ 32 — The Voice of the Purist
34§ 33 — There Spoke Envy’s Voice
35§ 34 — The Treacherous Warehouse
36§ 35 — A Scotchman’s Conscience
37§ 36 — Establishing an Identity
38§ 37 — An Earnest Cry for Help
39§ 38 — The Pride of Creative Genius
40§ 39 — The Prompt Response
41§ 40 — Once Every Ten Years
42§ 41 — One Detail Was Missing
43§ 42 — In Permanent Storage
44§ 43 — What Might Be Called an Active Man
45§ 44 — Sauce for the Goose
46§ 45 — Driven Beyond His Strength
47§ 46 — The Custom of the Country
48§ 47 — Sight Unseen, as It Were
49§ 48 — A Born Snob
50§ 49 — Maybe Not on the Second Day, Either
51§ 50 — Calling a Spade a Spade
52§ 51 — Poor Aim but Good Intent
53§ 52 — There Spake True Friendship
54§ 53 — The Tools Were Lacking
55§ 54 — A Tribute to Moderation
56§ 55 — The Instantaneous Diagnosis
57§ 56 — In Fact, a Positive Fad
58§ 57 — Something Like a Wampus, Probably
59§ 58 — An Education in Peril
60§ 59 — A Lover of Statistics
61§ 60 — History in the Un-Making
62§ 61 — Solving a Dark Mystery
63§ 62 — Enough of a Good Thing
64§ 63 — Absolutely Bored by the Whole Thing
65§ 64 — The Question Categorical
66§ 65 — Before or After Taking?
67§ 66 — A Time for All Things
68§ 67 — Tuesday Would Be Just Like Sunday
69§ 68 — A Sort of Circulating Medium, as It Were
70§ 69 — A Service to the Whole Land
71§ 70 — Deportment Taught by Wire
72§ 71 — Speaking of Carrier Pigeons
73§ 72 — Total Loss!
74§ 73 — With All Good Wishes
75§ 74 — A Start From Humble Beginnings
76§ 75 — The Confusing Geography of Jersey
77§ 76 — With Credit to S. Blythe
78§ 77 — When the H. C. of L. Came Down
79§ 78 — How to Beat the System
80§ 79 — An Echo From 1865
81§ 80 — There’d Be a Popular Uprising
82§ 81 — From the Book of Moses
83§ 82 — Almost Startling, Really
84§ 83 — A Violent Indisposition
85§ 84 — The Simplest of Remedies
86§ 85 — Proving There’s Something in a Name
87§ 86 — Question: How Far Did George Go?
88§ 87 — Natural Proof
89§ 88 — A Domicile for All Eternity
90§ 89 — The Man Who Was Thursday
91§ 90 — The Least of His Worries
92§ 91 — This One Stood the Test of Time
93§ 92 — The Prudent Bride
94§ 93 — As a Favor to the Railroad
95§ 94 — Where the Real Fault Lay
96§ 95 — An Appeal to the Senses
97§ 96 — The Truth From the Inside
98§ 97 — The Fate of the Saloon
99§ 98 — What the Case Called for
100§ 99 — The Light That Failed
101§ 100 — He’d Have Preferred Union Hours
102§ 101 — The Perils of Pranking
103§ 102 — The Really Important Point
104§ 103 — The Proper Remedy at Last
105§ 104 — An Anniversary to Be Remembered
106§ 105 — The Handiwork of the Amateur
107§ 106 — The Forethoughted Widow
108§ 107 — Bumpy Times for the Late Lamented
109§ 108 — The Genesis of an Old Favorite
110§ 109 — “A Rose by Any Other Name...”
111§ 110 — A Detail of Figures
112§ 111 — Provision for the Future
113§ 112 — The Life of the Party, as It Were
114§ 113 — Something to Look Forward to
115§ 114 — Me Lady’s One Weak Point
116§ 115 — At the Crossing of the Ways
117§ 116 — The Mysterious Stranger
118§ 117 — A Chronic Loser
119§ 118 — The Call of the Far East
120§ 119 — He Wouldn’t Commit Himself Yet
121§ 120 — A Seasonable and Timely Suggestion
122§ 121 — Not Vouched for as Absolutely Authentic
123§ 122 — One Time When the Colonel Balked
124§ 123 — And No Steam Calliope, Either
125§ 124 — Absolutely Nothing to Debate
126§ 125 — Keeping It in the Family
127§ 126 — Speaking, as It Were, With Frankness
128§ 127 — Glass of Fashion and Mould of Form!
129§ 128 — Down to the Solid Portions
130§ 129 — An Anti-Expectoration Advocate
131§ 130 — Putting Depew in His Place
132§ 131 — How Larry Boosted the Game
133§ 132 — When Goldstein Really Cut Loose
134§ 133 — Tired of Dealing With Crooks
135§ 134 — By Way of Compromise
136§ 135 — The Lady Made Good at Last
137§ 136 — The Low-Down on the Saw-Milling Business
138§ 137 — There Spoke a Sympathizing Soul
139§ 138 — The Inevitable Consequences
140§ 139 — Not Listed Among the Leading Ones Anyhow
141§ 140 — A Warning to the Yanks
142§ 141 — In the Nature of a Shock
143§ 142 — His Worst Fears Confirmed
144§ 143 — Only Three Had Remained
145§ 144 — She Who Sought for Peace
146§ 145 — An Exception for a Native Son
147§ 146 — Without Professional Assistance
148§ 147 — Making It Harder Than Ever
149§ 148 — Why They Called Him Speedy
150§ 149 — There Would Be Three in All
151§ 150 — The Colonel’s Checking System
152§ 151 — The Reunion of the Aged
153§ 152 — Probably Stewed Kidneys Ran Third
154§ 153 — Pretty Pol!
155§ 154 — The Unforgivable Sin
156§ 155 — The Burden of the Black Brother
157§ 156 — Openings in the Higher Branches
158§ 157 — A Distinction and a Difference
159§ 158 — The Prediction That Came True
160§ 159 — It Wasn’t His Move, Either
161§ 160 — Spreading the Feast for the Stranger
162§ 161 — A Very Natural Request
163§ 162 — The Voice of a Prophet
164§ 163 — The Trifles of an Earlier Day
165§ 164 — In Accordance With the Ritual
166§ 165 — A Customer Who Wasn’t Wanted
167§ 166 — The Surest System Yet
168§ 167 — All According to Specifications
169§ 168 — The Reason the Artist Quit
170§ 169 — To the Depths of Dogology
171§ 170 — Time Was No Object
172§ 171 — A Diagnosis Made Offhand
173§ 172 — Remodeling the Calendar
174§ 173 — Of a Careless Nature
175§ 174 — The Light That Failed
176§ 175 — Sir Izaak Walton in Black
177§ 176 — Doing Something for the Patient
178§ 177 — The Real Point of the Joke
179§ 178 — The Mystery of Wednesday
180§ 179 — The Cockney and the Lady
181§ 180 — Neither Here nor There
182§ 181 — One of the Marvels of Science
183§ 182 — The Proper End of a Caddy
184§ 183 — One Way to Beat the Game
185§ 184 — Absolutely No Reason for It
186§ 185 — The Withdrawal of the Candidate
187§ 186 — A Peacemaker Who Blessed Himself
188§ 187 — The Long Wait at Burlington
189§ 188 — Where Jimmy’s Education Really Was Shy
190§ 189 — The Made-in-England Substitute
191§ 190 — Practically Destitute
192§ 191 — Assigning G. B. S. to His Place
193§ 192 — A Voice From the Void
194§ 193 — Taking Nothing From Nothing
195§ 194 — The Fate of Poor Harry
196§ 195 — A Wholesale Order
197§ 196 — This “Yes” and That “Yes”
198§ 197 — Satisfactory in Every Respect
199§ 198 — Precisely the Right Word
200§ 199 — Touching on London Weather
201§ 200 — The Detour in the Bridal Path
202§ 201 — Tuesday May Have Been Worse
203§ 202 — A Touch of Summer Complaint
204§ 203 — He Never Went There Anyhow
205§ 204 — Where Republicans Are Scarce
206§ 205 — The Sole Drawback to Utter Success
207§ 206 — Sure Damnation for Somebody
208§ 207 — The Final Smash
209§ 208 — Making It Unanimous
210§ 209 — Advice From Expert Sources
211§ 210 — A Seeker After Hidden Facts
212§ 211 — The Curfew in Nebraska
213§ 212 — The Reward of the Early Riser
214§ 213 — A Competition Which Was Open to All
215§ 214 — Not the Order of the Bath
216§ 215 — The Embarrassing Broad A
217§ 216 — Tributes to the Late Lamented Ones
218§ 217 — And the Point of Order Was Sustained
219§ 218 — The Light That Lies in Bankers’ Eyes
220§ 219 — A Call for the Prohibited Stuff
221§ 220 — The Perfect Introduction
222§ 221 — An Answer Right Off the Ice
223§ 222 — Where He Could Go for Thirty Cents
224§ 223 — Overlooking No Side Bets
225§ 224 — The Lick That Won the Victory
226§ 225 — No Closed Season on Fanchon
227§ 226 — Down and Out for the Count
228§ 227 — The Plan of the Shut-In
229§ 228 — The Quick-Thinking Referee
230§ 229 — George, the Forbearing
231§ 230 — An Old One and Its Younger Half-Brother
232§ 231 — Corroboration From On High
233§ 232 — Suffering From a Relapse
234§ 233 — One Old Enough to Merit Respect
235§ 234 — The Retort Courteous
236§ 235 — The Proper Point of View
237§ 236 — Between the Cloves and the Hiccough
238§ 237 — War Upon the Reptiles
239§ 238 — One of Those Nature-Faking Yarns
240§ 239 — The Unaccommodating Kansan
241§ 240 — The Happy Return
242§ 241 — Bringing in the Sheaves
243§ 242 — Regarding the Brooklyn Boys
244§ 243 — When O. Henry Met the Poet Scout
245§ 244 — Our Institutions Approved
246§ 245 — The Annoyed Mr. Goldstein
247§ 246 — Darkness Before the Dawn
248§ 247 — A Scandal in the Family
249§ 248 — Aiding the Sheriff’s Vision
250§ 249 — The Affair in Half Moon Street
251§ 250 — Everything Coming Out Just Right
252§ 251 — Delivered Through a Middleman
253§ 252 — Back to God’s Country
254§ 253 — Hail and Farewell!
255§ 254 — Calculated to Work Improvements
256§ 255 — Improvements in the Language
257§ 256 — An Abiding Delusion, Too
258§ 257 — Bordering on the Unreasonable
259§ 258 — A Slight for the Kellys
260§ 259 — The Luck of the Absentee
261§ 260 — Everything Happens for the Worst
262§ 261 — Spreading the Glad Tidings
263§ 262 — Out of Business Hours
264§ 263 — In the Ascending Scale
265§ 264 — A Family of Imitators
266§ 265 — Two Conundrums and a Tragedy
267§ 266 — In the Very Lap of Comfort
268§ 267 — Making It a Sweepstakes
269§ 268 — Filling a Long-Felt Want
270§ 269 — Spoken From the Heart Out
271§ 270 — Where Proper Relief Lay
272§ 271 — No Repetitions for Hubby
273§ 272 — There Was No Hurry About It
274§ 273 — An Attack on the Affiliated Talent
275§ 274 — The Deceased Had Been Forehanded
276§ 275 — How the Reform Worked
277§ 276 — Where Higher Education Would Have Landed Him
278§ 277 — Scarcely a Lucrative Calling
279§ 278 — A Plea for Studied Action
280§ 279 — The Current Rate on Suckers
281§ 280 — Going and Coming
282§ 281 — The Evils of Intemperance
283§ 282 — Not a Family of Musicians
284§ 283 — The Reverend Had a Little Lamb
285§ 284 — God Save the King’s English!
286§ 285 — The Kink in Mr. Jones
287§ 286 — Better Than Believing in Santa Claus
288§ 287 — The Curse of an Active Mind
289§ 288 — A Way Out of the Difficulty
290§ 289 — Stylish Language, Indeed!
291§ 290 — The Original Package
292§ 291 — The Voice of a Husband
293§ 292 — The Passive Rôle
294§ 293 — The Suggestion of a Scandal
295§ 294 — A Warning Word to a Friend
296§ 295 — Obstructing the Highway
297§ 296 — In Part Settlement
298§ 297 — The Apostolic Switch
299§ 298 — In One of His Tamer Moments
300§ 299 — That Thick Hotel Crockery
301§ 300 — A Reduction for Cash
302§ 301 — Extending Down to the Very Bottom
303§ 302 — Belated but Sincere
304§ 303 — An Expert Opinion
305§ 304 — A Well-Merited Rebuke
306§ 305 — For Business, Not Pleasure
307§ 306 — Let There Be Light!
308§ 307 — A Little Bed Time Tale
309§ 308 — A Growing Suspicion
310§ 309 — Caught in the Jam
311§ 310 — And Getting Worse All the Time
312§ 311 — A Temptation to His Majesty
313§ 312 — Giving the Lady the Air
314§ 313 — Complete in Every Detail
315§ 314 — A Bare Statement
316§ 315 — One Right Behind Another
317§ 316 — How Time Flies, to Be Sure!
318§ 317 — Honor Where Honor Was Due
319§ 318 — On Her Own Motive Power
320§ 319 — Who’s Who in Newark
321§ 320 — Hives, Perhaps, but No Honey
322§ 321 — A Mystery Revealed
323§ 322 — It Very Often Proves Fatal
324§ 323 — Proving That Figures Don’t Lie
325§ 324 — The Exact Locality
326§ 325 — A Two Part Serial
327§ 326 — A Tribute to the Father
328§ 327 — The Personal Touch Was Lacking
329§ 328 — Straight From the Scriptures
330§ 329 — The Real Fromage, in Fact
331§ 330 — Practically No Reason for It
332§ 331 — He Couldn’t Stick to Any One Thing
333§ 332 — Reserve Ammunition
334§ 333 — Dust to Dust
335§ 334 — No Trouble to Show Goods
336§ 335 — Fun for Little Isadore
337§ 336 — An Awful Blow for Mr. Barnum
338§ 337 — An Over Sensitive Deer
339§ 338 — The Proper Rate of Exchange
340§ 339 — Classifying the Delinquent
341§ 340 — A Touch of the Swedish
342§ 341 — Calling for Night Work, Too
343§ 342 — Returning in the Regular Manner
344§ 343 — Or in Other Words, Slightly Confused
345§ 344 — A Squirrel Without a Peer
346§ 345 — The Triumph of the Novice
347§ 346 — The Gift of Tongues
348§ 347 — Inquiry Regarding the Stranger
349§ 348 — When Appearances Were Deceitful
350§ 349 — The Curious Ways of Sheep
351§ 350 — Where They Take Things as They Come
352§ 351 — A Mystery Unraveled
353§ 352 — Already Showing Signs of Use
354§ 353 — A Hint to the Wise Is Ample
355§ 354 — Just Before the Shooting Started
356§ 355 — The Limit of Helplessness
357§ 356 — The Most Unkindest Cut of All
358§ 357 — The Position of a Young Man
359§ 358 — No Detail to Be Overlooked
360§ 359 — At the Extreme Rear
361§ 360 — He Knew Where to Find Paw
362§ 361 — Consolation for the Imperilled One
363§ 362 — Examples of the Higher Criticism
364§ 363 — The Prize Smell of the Circus
365§ 364 — A Tribute — With One Reservation
366§ 365 — Staving Off the Fatal Blow
367§ 366 — Special Extra — To Be Read Only in Leap Year

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