§ 161 A Very Natural Request
A certain captain of the regular army was on trial before a court-martial for alleged intoxication. His orderly, whose name was McSweeney, appeared as a witness for the defence.
“What was the condition of the accused on the date in question?” asked the judge advocate.
“He was sober, sor,” said McSweeney.
“It has been reported,” stated the judge, “that he was in such a condition that you had to help him to his quarters and undress him and put him in bed.”
“No, sor,” said Private McSweeney, “I just wint to quarters with the captain—that’s all, sor.”
“Did he say anything that would lead you to think he was intoxicated?”
“No, sor.”
“Did he say anything at all?”
“Well, he did say wan thing.”
“What was that?”
“Well, sor, just as I was leavin’ he sez to me, he sez, ‘McSweeney, if you’re wakin’ call me early. For I’m to be Queen of the May.’”