§ 307 A Little Bed Time Tale
If you have for a friend a clergyman who is slightly deaf, it is proper to tell this story on him, adding that you were present when it happened. As a matter of fact, it has been attributed to every distinguished churchman in this country who is hard of hearing. However, it goes better, I think, when you make the central character a bishop—by preference a very dignified bishop—who is attending a dinner-party.
Seated next to him, on his deafer side, is a young lady who, being naturally diffident, is now deeply awed by her proximity to so famous a man. She hesitates to address him, preferring to wait for what she regards as a favorable opportunity; yet she craves conversation with him.
Toward the end of the meal, fruit is passed about. The nervous guest seizes on this for her cue. Gently she joggles her great neighbor’s elbow.
“I beg your pardon, sir,” she says, “but are you fond of bananas?”
His Reverence inclines a stately head in her direction, at the same time cupping his hand behind his ear.
“What did you say?” he asks.
Blushing, the young woman raises her voice:
“It’s really of no consequence,” she says; “I merely asked you whether you liked bananas.”
By now, all the others at the table are listening. The bishop considers for a moment and then replies:
“Well, my dear, if you wish my honest opinion, I have always preferred the old-fashioned night-shirt.”