§ 283 The Reverend Had a Little Lamb
The pastor of a colored church in Louisiana was haled before the board of deacons on serious charges. It was alleged that, although married, he had been caught in the act of embracing a comely female member of the congregation, in the vestry room. The evidence against him appeared to be conclusive. Three presumably unbiased witnesses testified to the fact.
The accused was asked whether he had anything to say in his own defense. He answered at length and with eloquence. He led off by pointing out that the word “pastor” was a Latin word meaning “shepherd.” Therefore, he properly was a shepherd. He also called the attention of the court to the fact that in pictures and paintings and more frequently in stained-glass memorial windows the Master Himself was shown as a shepherd, carrying a lamb.
Now then, he contended, it naturally followed that when he, as the shepherd, took a member of his flock in his arms, he merely was carrying out the Scriptural example.
In the minds of the deacons there seemed to be no way of controverting these arguments. Accordingly they went into executive session and drew up resolutions exonerating the preacher. But they added a proviso.
The concluding clause of the document, as read by the senior deacon before the congregation on the following Sunday night, ran as follows:
“And, be it finally resolved, ef in future our beloved pastor should feel de desire stealin’ over him to tek one of de lambs of de flock in his arms, dat he shall tek a ram lamb!”