Humour, Wit, and Satire of the Seventeenth Century

The Bad-Husbands Folly or Poverty made known.

A Man may waste and spend away his store,

But if misery comes he has no help therefore,

This man that brought himself into decay,

Shews other Good fellows that they go not astray.

To the Tune of Come hither my own sweet Duck.

[120.]To all Good-Fellows now,

I mean to sing a Song,

I have wrought my own decay,

and have done myself great wrong:

In following the Ale-house,

I have spent away my store,

Bad Company did me undo,

but i'le do so no more.

That man that haunts the Ale house,

and likewise the Drunken Crew,

Is in danger to dye a Beggar,

without any more ado;

Would I might be an Example

to all Good fellows sure;

Bad Company &c

I had a fair Estate of Land,

was worth forty pound a year,

I sold and Mortgaged all that,

and spent it in strong Beer:

My wife and friends could not rule me,

until I did wax poor.

Bad Company &c

I came unto my Hostis,

and called for Liquor apace,

She saw my money was plenty,

and she smiled in my face:

If I said fill a Flaggon,

they set two upon the score,

Bad Company &c

I ranted night and day,

and I let my Money flye,

While my wife was almost dead with grief

to hear her Children cry:

For they were almost starv'd and pin'd

they wanted food so sore.

Bad Company &c

At two a Clock i' th' morn

I would come Drunken home,

And if my wife spoke but a word,

I'de kick her about the Room;

And domineer and swear,

and call her —— and ——.

Bad Company &c

Then I fell sick upon the same,

and lay three months and more,

But never an Alewife in the Town,

would come within my door:

But my poor wife was my best friend,

and stuck to me therefore.

Bad Company &c

My wife she sold her Petticoat,

and pawn'd her Wedding Ring,

To relieve me in my misery,

in any kind of thing:

O was not I a woful man,

to waste and spend my store,

And let my wife & children want at home

but I'le do so no more.

When I began to mend a little,

I walke to take the air,

And as I went along the Town,

I came by my Hostises door:

I askt her for to trust me two-pence,

she denyed me the more,

The Money that I have spent with her,

but I'le do so no more.

As soon as I get strength agen

i'le fall to work apace,

To maintain my wife and children,

for my Hostises are base:

I see who is a mans best friend,

if he be sick or poor.

Bad Company &c

And when I do get money agen,

I'le learn for to be wise,

And not believe that Drunken Crew,

that filled my ears with lyes:

And carry it home unto my wife

and of my Children take more care.

Bad Company &c

He runs a very long Race

that never turns again;

And brings himself unto disgrace,

and has poverty for his pain;

But now I will be careful sure,

and forgo the Ale-house door.

Bad Company &c

Now to conclude and make an end

what I have put in Rhime,

That all Good-fellows they may se

to mend their lives in time:

And learn for to be Thrifty,

to save something by in store.

Bad Company &c.

Printed for I. Deacon, at the Angel in Guilt Spur street, without Newgate.

[110.] There dwelled not farre from Maister Hobson, two very ancient women, the youngest of them both was above three score yeares of age, and uppon a time sitting at the taverne together, they grew at varience which of them should be the youngest (as women, indeede, desier to be accompted younger than they be) in such manner that they layd a good supper, of the valew of twenty shillings, for the truth thereof, and Maister Hobson they agreed upon to be their Judge of the difference. So after Maister Hobson had knowledge thereof, the one came to him, and as a present gave him a very faire pidgion pye, worth some five shillings, desiering him to passe the vardet²³³ of her side; within a while after, the other came, and gave Maister Hobson a very faire grayhound, which kind of dogges he much delighted in: praying him likewise to be favorable on her side, wherefore hee gave judgment that the woman that gave him the grayhound was the yonger, and so she wonn the supper of twenty shillings, Which she perceiving, came to him and sayd, Sir, I gave you a pidgion pie, and you promised the verdit should goe on my side. To whome Maister Hobson said, of a truth, good woman, there came a grayhound into my house, and eate up the pidgion pye, and so by that meanes I quite forgot thee.

²³³ Verdict.

[103.] A Soldier Quartering in Cambridge, often observ'd a Young Country Wench that Sold Piggs a Market Days, whereupon he went to her, and desir'd to see some of her Pigs, she having several, he said, he would have one alive, so she shewed him one that she had in a Bag. Well, Sweet heart, said he, I live hard by, I will go and shew the Pig to my Captain; if he like it, you shall have three shillings for it, but in the mean time I will leave the Money with you; thus having got the Pig tied up in the Bag, he went to his Lodging, and put in a Dog in the Bag instead of it, and returning quickly to the Damsel, said his Captain did not like the Pig, and therefore she took the Bag without looking into it, and gave him his Money again. Not long after came a French man in haste to buy a Pig, and he not liking those that were dead, would have a live One; Sir, said she, I have one of the same bigness alive, the Price of it is three Shillings, I will not sell it a Farthing Cheaper; well, said he, if you will not, here is your Money, but how shall I carry it? Why, for a Groat you shall have the Poke and all. Poke, what is dat? said Monsieur. 'Tis a Bag. Is dat de Poke? well here's a Groat. Thus away he goes with his Bargain home, but when he comes to look in the Poke, he see the Dog, O de diable, (said he) is dis de Pig? de Dible take me, if I do buy Pig in de Poke agen.