The Welshman's Praise of Wales.
[83.]I's not come here to tauke of Prute,
From whence the Welse does take her Root;
Nor tell long Pedigree of Prince Camber,
Whose Linage would fill full a Shamber;
Nor sing the Deeds of old Saint Davy,
The Ursip of which would fill a Navy;
But hark ye now for a liddel Tales
Sal make great deal to the Credit of Wales:
For hur will tudge your Ears,
With the Praise of hur Thirteen Seeres,
And make you as Clad and Merry,
As Fourteen Pot of Perry.
'Tis true was wear him Shirkin Frieze,
But what is that? we have store of Sheize;
And Got is plenty of Coates Milk,
That sell him well, will buy him silk
Enough to make him fine to Quarrel,
At Hereford Sizes in new Apparel.
And get him as much Melmet perhap
Sall give it a Face to his Monmouth Cap.
But then the Ore of Lemster,
By Cot is Uver a Sempster;
That when he is Spun or Did
Yet match him with her Thrid.
And this the Backs now, let us tell ye
Of some Provisions for the Belly;
As Cid and Gote and great Gote's Mother,
And Runt and Cow and great Cow's Uther:
And once but taste on the Welse Mutton,
Your Engliss Seeps not worth a Button;
Then for your Fisse, shall shoose it your Dish,
Look but about, and there's a Trout,
A Salmon, Cor or Chevin,
Will feed you Six or Seven,
As taull Men as e'er Swagger
With Welse Club and long Dagger.
But all this while was never think
A word in praise of our Welse Drink;
Yet for aull that, is a Cup of Bragat,
Aull England Seer may cast his Cap at;
And what you say to Ale of Webley,
Toudge him as well, you'll praise him Trebley.
As well as Metheglin, or Sider, or Meath
Sall sake it your Dagger quite out o' the Seath.
And Oate Cake of Guarthenion,
With a goodly Leek or Onion,
To give as sweet a rellis,
As e'er did Harper Ellis.
And yet is nothing now all this,
If of our Musicks we do miss;
With Harp and Pipes too and the Croud
Must aull come in and tauk aloud.
As loud as Bangu, Davy's Bell,
Of which is no doubt you have hear tell,
As well as our louder Wrexam Organ,
Or rumbling Rocks in the Seer of Glamorgan,
Where look you but in the Ground here,
And you sall see a Sound there,
That put her all togedder,
Is sweet as Measure Pedder.
[52.] In Barnet was a young woman, that when her husband lay a dying, sorrowed out of measure, for feare that shee should lose him. Her father came to her, desiring her to be contented: for he had provided her another husband, a far more handsome man. But she did not onely continue in her sorrow, but was also greatly displeased, that her father made any motion to her of any other husband. As soone as her other husband was buried and the Sermon was done, and they were at supper, between sobbing and weeping, shee rounded her father in the eare, and said, Father, where is the young man that you told me should bee my husband? for very shortly I purpose to be maried. At which her father suddenly fell a laughing.
[82.] A Gallant in his youth was much addicted to dicing, and many times when he had lost all his money, then hee would pawne his cloake, and so goe home without either cloak or coyne, which grieved the Lady his Mother very much: for remedy whereof, she caused all his doublets (of what stuffe so ever) to be made with canvasse painted backes, whereon were fashioned two fooles, which caused the Gentleman ever after to keepe his cloake on his backe, for feare two of the three should be discovered.
[12.]I was took by a fly,
Says a Fish; but I deny
That, for had he not took the fly
At first in his mouth,
He had not, in truth,
Then have been tost up so high.
[52.] There was an unthrift in London, that had received of a Merchant certain Wares, which came to fifty pounds, to pay at three moneths; and at three moneths. But when he had it he consumed and spent it all: so that at the six moneths end there was not any left to pay the Merchant: Wherefore the Merchant arrested him. When he saw there was no other remedy, but either to pay the debt, or go to prison, he sent to a subtill Lawyer, and asked his Counsell how he might clear himself of that debt. What wilt thou give me, (quoth he) if I do? Five marks (quoth the other) and here it is: and as soon as you have done, you shall have it. Well, said the Lawyer, but thou must be ruled by my counsell, and do thus: When thou commest before the Judge, whatsoever he saith unto thee, answer thou nothing, but cry Bea, still, and let me alone with the rest. So when he came before the Judge, he said to the Debter, Dost thou owe this Merchant so much money? Bea (quoth he). What, beast? (quoth he) answer to that I aske thee. Bea (quoth he again.) Why, how now? quoth the Judge, I think this fellow hath gotten a sheeps tongue in his head: for he answereth in the sheeps language. Why, Sir, quoth the Lawyer, do you think this Merchant that is so wise a man, would be so foolish, as to trust this Ideot with fifty pounds worth of ware, that can speak never a word? No, Sir, I warrant you—And he persuaded the Judge to cast the Merchant in his own suit. And so the Judge departed, and the Court brake up. Then the Lawyer came to his Client, and asked him his Money, since his promise was performed, and his debt discharged. Bea (quoth he.) Why, thou needs't not cry Bea any longer, but pay me my money. Bea, (quoth he again). Why thou wilt not serve me so, I hope, (quoth the Lawyer) now I have used thee so kindly? But nothing but Bea could Master Lawyer get for his paines, and so was faine to depart with a flea in his eare.
[5.]Dolens doth shew his purse, and tels you this,
It is more horrid than a Pest-house is;
For in a Pest-house many mortals enter,
But in his purse, one angell dares not venture.
[61.] An old merry Parson that lived in the old merry dayes, being a little purblined by being a very good fellow that would alwayes pay his Clubb,135 having sat up late on the Satterday night, was a little unfitted in his eyes to read right the next morning; turned to a Chapter in Exodus, the beginning of the Chapter began thus, And God told Moses &c, but, his eyes failing him, like a true Clubber he read thus, And the Lord told Noses136 &c—
135 i.e. His share of the liquor consumed.
136 Counted heads, so that all should pay their due proportion.
[78.] Two Gentlemen talking in latin, in the presence of a woman, she grew jealous that they spake of her, and desired them to speake english that she might answer them, for she said she was perswaded when men spake latin, although they spake but two words, that still one of them was naught: where upon one of the Gentlemen sayd presently, Bona mulier,137 she replyed, I know bona is good, but I'le warrant ye the other word meanes something that's nought.
137 Good woman.
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