Seldome Cleanely 90
or
A merry new Ditty, wherein you may see,
The tricke of a Huswife, in every degree.
Then lend your attention while I doe unfold
As pleasant a story as you have heard told.
To the Tune of Upon a Summers time.
[63.]Draw neere you Countrey Girles
and lissen unto me,
Ile tell you here a new conceit
concerning Huswifery,
concerning Huswifery.
Three Aunts I had of late,
good Huswifes all were they,
But cruell death hath taken
the best of them away,
O the best &c—
O this was one of my Aunts,
the best of all the three,
And surely though I say it myselfe
a cleanly woman was she,
a cleanly &c.
My Uncle carelesse was
in wasting of his store,
Which made my Aunt to have a care
to looke about the more,
to looke &c—
When Winter time drew on
neere to All hollow day:
My Aunt did cast her wits about
to save her Straw and Hay.
to save &c—
And like a provident woman,
as plainely did apeare,
She starv'd her Bullockes to save her Hay,
untill another yeare.
O this was one of my Aunts,
the best of all the three
And surely, though I say't myselfe
a provident woman was shee.
But as she went to see
her cattell in the fields:
When she comes home, two pound of durt
hang dragling at her heeles.
O this &c
And there she let it hang
from Candlemas to May,
And then shee tooke a hatchet in hand,
and chopt it cleane away.
O this &c
In making of a cheese
my Aunt shewed her cunning,
Such perfit skill shee had at will,
shee never used running.91
O this &c
For having strain'd her milke
in turning once about,
Shee had the best Curd that ever you saw
by the sent92 of the strayning clout.
O this &c
Shee was the choysest Nurse
that lived in all the West;
Her face was white as the charcoal flower
so was her neck and brest.
O this was one of my Aunts,
the best of all the three,
And surely, though I say't myselfe,
a cleanly good Nurse was shee.
The garments which she did weare
did shine like the brazen Crock,
And where she went, she bore such a sent
that the flyes blew in her frock.
O this &c
My Aunt so curious was,
as I to you may tell,
She used to make fat puddings
in markets for to sell.
O this &c
The smallest Candle end
my Aunt would never lose
It would helpe to make her puddings fat
with the droppings of her nose.
O this &c
Another trick she had
as I shall now declare,
Shee never swept the house,
about foure times a yeare.
O this &c
And when she swept the Hall,
the Parler or the Spence,
The dust was worth to her at least,
a shilling or 14 pence.
O this &c
One day my Aunt was set
by the fier side a spinning,
As she knew well what was to do
to wollen or to linnen.
O this &c
A change came in her minde,
her worke being in great hast,
She burn'd her Tow, her Wheele and all
because she would make no wast.
O this &c
My Aunt so patient was
of this I dare be bold,
That with her Neighbours shee
was never knowne to scolde.
O this &c
Her lips with lothsome words
she seldome would defile,
But sometimes she would whisper so loud
you might heare her half a mile
O this &c
Yet one condition more
unto you I will show,
Shee washt her dishes once a moneth,
and set them on a row.
O this &c
If other wise she had
but of a dish clout faile,
She would set them to the Dog to lick
and wipe them with his tayle.
O this &c
But to conclude in hast,
I hold it not amisse,
I love a cleanly huswife well
as may appeare by this.
O this was one of my Aunts
the best of all the three,
And surely, though I say't myselfe,
a cleanely woman was she.
L. P93
FINIS.
London. Printed for John Wright junior,94 dwelling at the upper end of the Old Baily.
90 For tune, see Appendix.
91 Rennet.
92 Scent.
93? Laurence Price.
94 He published from 1641 to 1683.
Astrology (in the middle of the seventeenth century) was beginning to fall into disrepute, and Butler, in Hudibras, as well as Ben Jonson in The Alchemist, satirised unmercifully both the science and its professors. The accompanying engraving "The Astrologer's Bugg Beare" refers to an eclipse of the sun, an event, which even at that time was considered of dire portent. Take the title of one tract as a sample. 95"The Shepherds Prognostication, Foretelling the sad and strange Eclipse of the Sun, which will happen on the 29 of March this present year 1652. which Eclipse will begin about eight of the Clock in the fore noon, and so continue till past the hour of eleven, which will be the dismallest day that ever was known since the year 33, when our Savior Christ suffered on the Crosse for the sins of Mankind, at which time the Seas did roare, the earth did quake, the graves did open, the temple rent from the top to the bottom, Luke 23. 45. And there was a darknesse over all the Land. This Prediction also foretells of many strange Presages and Passages which will follow after that horrible Eclipse of the Sun, and what will insue. With a perfect way whereby to avoid the insuing danger. By L. P." (? Laurence Price.) And the contents of the tract fully bears out its title.
But "L. P.," whoever he was, entered thoroughly into the joke of the thing, and, when it was all over, wrote a book, teeming with quiet satire, which was published on 9th April 1652, called—
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