The Third Hole
Scholar. Well, Master, I have pursued this ball unto the second green, smiting it some dozen times, and not once fairly; yet you would have me believe that it is but a simple matter.
Golfator. Ay, sir, as simple as the boiling of an egg; yet is there no trick so simple but care must be brought to the turning of it; and you are to know that the stroke in golf and the boiling of an egg are the same in this, that to time it rightly is nine-tenths of the matter.
Schol. It may be, sir, that I am ill fitted to this game, and shall never come to skill in it, for it seemeth of great difficulty, despite your fair words.
Golf. Well, Scholar, to speak truth, your antics have been most fantastical, and what skill you may come to no man can say; therefore if you are for withdrawing I do again heartily counsel you so to do, and to give your leisure to a more profitable employ, as the study of mares’ nests or the collecting of phœnix eggs; but if you are resolved to have knowledge of this ingenious game I am still at your service.
Schol. Then, sir, I entreat you to teach me this stroke, that you say is so simple.
Golf. Why, sir, you have but to do certain things and to avoid doing certain other things and the trick is learned. The things you are to do are to stand easily, neither stiffly nor limply; to sole the club at a right angle to the line of the ball’s flight; to take the club back smoothly, seeing to it that the wrists start the motion and the arms follow, and that the wrists turn inward during or at the height of the swing; and to strike downward with decision, timing the blow to the thousandth of a second, and letting the arms draw the body around in a natural fashion. And the things you are not to do are these: you must not let the club’s head flop at the height of the swing, nor stiffen the muscles at any time, nor move your head, nor heave your shoulders like a ship in a sea, nor hop upon your left great toe as a ballet dancer, nor fall upon the ball, nor fall backward, nor pound the ball as if it were a peg for a tent, nor cock up your head as a tomtit, nor fall into other errors of which I shall speak later. These divers matters kept in mind, the ball will fly straight, and to a great distance.
Schol. On my word, Master, it were a rare feat to hold so many things in mind at the one moment.
Golf. My good Scholar, it is not to be compassed, yet do we see scores of hapless creatures endeavoring the impossible; for it is the way of many teachers of this game to bedevil the novice with a multitude of instructions, so that the poor wretch is at his wits’ end. Therefore I commend to you the learning of one thing before another, and the thing you are first to come by is a free wrist; for in tennis, or in handball, or in bowls, as in this golf, it is a supple wrist that puts pace on the ball and gives it direction. And you are to observe this principle again in the fine art of casting a fly for trouts, and in the play of foils, so that a man that has reached to three score and ten, though the vigor of his prime is past, is yet able to take trouts or to wield a rapier with the youngest.
Schol. Sir, I am heartened by the thought that there is a likeness between the casting of a fly and the swinging of a club, for I have some skill with the rod.
Golf. Then, Scholar, you must know that the rod itself does the work, guided by the wrist, so that a man may throw a fly for hours without fatigue; therefore you have but to conceive yourself as casting with the left wrist, and you have the secret of every stroke in golf; for it is all of the putt and the beginning of the drive.
Schol. I take your meaning, Master. You would have me to swing in this fashion.
Golf. Marry, sir, that had been a sorry performance on a trout river, for you were forward with your cast before ever your line had straightened behind you. Whip back your clubhead, as a brown hackle on a leader, pause until all is straight behind and free of kinks, then forward with the wrists, and the arms will follow.
Schol. Sir, your words are as a torch in a dark night.
Golf. Practice then this back cast diligently, let the ball fly where it will. And I would I were at this moment in a little river, knee-deep in sweet running waters, and casting here and there for trouts; for that, Scholar, is a game worth two of this.