Chap. LII
That a man ought not to esteem himself worthy of consolation; but rather guilty of stripes.
1. Lord, I am not worthy of thy consolation, or any spiritual visitation; and therefore thou dealest justly with me, when thou leavest me poor and desolate.
For if I could shed tears like a sea, yet should I not be worthy of thy comfort;
Since I have deserved nothing but stripes and punishments, because I have grievously and often offended thee, and in very many things sinned against thee.
Therefore according to all just reason I have not deserved the least of thy comforts.
But thou, who art a good and merciful God, who wilt not have thy works perish, to shew the riches of thy goodness towards the vessels of mercy, vouchsafest beyond all his deserts to comfort thy servant above human measure; for thy consolations are not like the consolations of men.
2. What have I done, O Lord, that thou shouldst impart any heavenly comfort to me?
I can remember nothing of good that ever I have done; but that I was always prone to vice, and sluggish to amendment.
It is the truth, and I cannot deny it. If I should say otherwise, thou wouldst stand against me, and there would be none to defend me.
What have I deserved for my sins but hell and everlasting fire?
In truth, I confess I am worthy of all scorn and contempt; neither is it fitting that I should be named among thy devout servants. And though it goes against me to hear this, yet for truth’s sake I will condemn my sins against myself, that so I may the easier obtain thy mercy.
3. What shall I say, who am guilty, and full of all confusion?
I have not the face to say any thing but this one word, I have sinned, O Lord, I have sinned; have mercy on me, and pardon me.
Suffer me a little, that I may mourn out my grief, before I go to the darksome land that is covered with the dismal shade of death. Job x.
What dost thou chiefly require of a guilty and wretched sinner, but that he should heartily repent, and humble himself for his sins.
In true contrition and humility of heart is brought forth hope of forgiveness; a troubled conscience is reconciled; grace that was lost is recovered; a man is secured from the wrath to come, and God meets the penitent soul in the holy kiss of peace.
4. Humble contrition for sins is an acceptable sacrifice to thee, O Lord; of far sweeter odour in thy sight than the burning of frankincense.
This is also that pleasing ointment which thou wouldst have to be poured upon thy sacred feet: for thou never yet hast despised a contrite and humble heart. Psalms l.
[USCCB: Psalms li. 19. “…God, do not spurn a broken, humbled heart.” ]
Here is a sure place of refuge from the face of the wrath of the enemy: here whatever has been elsewhere contracted of uncleanness is amended and washed away.