Chap. XLVIII Of the Day of Eternity, and of the Miseries of This Life
1. O Most happy mansion of the city above! O most bright day of eternity, which knows no night, but is always enlightened by the Sovereign Truth; a day always joyful, always secure, and never changing its state for the contrary!
Oh! that this day would shine upon us, and all these temporal things would come to an end!
It shines indeed upon the saints, resplendant with everlasting brightness; but to us pilgrims upon earth it is seen only as afar off, and through a glass.
2. The citizens of heaven know how joyful that day is; but the banished children of Eve lament that this our day is bitter and tedious.
The days of this life are short and evil, full of sorrows and miseries: where man is defiled with many sins, is ensnared with many passions, attacked with many fears, disquieted with many cares, distracted with many curiosities, entangled with many vanities, encompassed with many errors, broken with many labours, troubled with temptations, weakened with delights, tormented with want.
3. Oh! when will there be an end of these evils? When shall I be set at liberty from the wretched slavery of sin?
When, O Lord, shall I be so happy as to think of thee alone? When shall I to the full rejoice in thee?
When shall I be without any impediment in true liberty, without any trouble of mind or body?
When shall I enjoy a solid peace, a peace never to be disturbed and always secure, a peace both within and without, a peace every where firm?
O good Jesu, when shall I stand to behold thee?
When shall I contemplate the glory of thy kingdom? When wilt thou be all in all to me? O when shall I be with thee in thy kingdom, which thou hast prepared for thy Beloved from all eternity?
I am left a poor and banished man, in an enemy’s country, where there are wars every day, and very great misfortunes.
4. Comfort me in my banishment, assuage my sorrows; for all my desire is after thee: and all that this world offers for my comfort is burthensome to me.
I long to enjoy thee intimately, but cannot attain to it.
I desire to cleave to heavenly things, but the things of this life and my unmortified passions bear me down. I am willing in mind to be above all things, but by the flesh am obliged against my will to be subject to them.
Thus, unhappy man that I am, I fight with myself, and am become burthensome to myself, whilst the spirit seeks to tend upwards, and the flesh downwards.
5. Oh! what do I suffer interiorly, whilst in my mind I consider heavenly things, and presently a crowd of carnal thoughts offers to interrupt my prayer? O my God, remove not thyself far from me, and depart not in thy wrath from thy servant.
Dart forth thy lightning, and disperse them: shoot thy arrows, and let all the phantoms of the enemy be put to flight.
Gather my senses together to thee; make me forget all worldly things; give me the grace speedily to cast away and to despise all wicked imaginations.
Come to my aid, O eternal truth, that no vanity may move me.
Come, heavenly sweetness, and let all impurity fly before thy face.
Pardon me also, and mercifully forgive me the times that I have thought of any thing else in prayer besides thee.
For I confess truly, that I am accustomed to be very much distracted:
For oftentimes I am not there, where I am bodily standing or sitting, but am rather there where my thoughts carry me.
There I am, where my thought is: and there oftentimes is my thought, where that is which I love.
That thing most readily comes to my mind, which naturally delights me, or which through custom is pleasing to me.
6. For this reason thou, who art the truth, hast plainly said, Where thy treasure is, there also is thy heart. Matthew vi.
If I love heaven, I willingly think of heavenly things.
If I love the world, I rejoice in the prosperity of the world, and am troubled at its adversity.
If I love the flesh, my imagination is often taken up with the things of the flesh.
If I love the spirit, I delight to think of spiritual things.
For whatsoever things I love, of the same I willingly speak and hear, and carry home with me the images of them.
But blessed is the man, who for thee, O Lord, lets go all things created: who offers violence to his nature; and through fervour of spirit crucifies the lusts of the flesh: that so his conscience being cleared up, he may offer to thee pure prayer, and may be worthy to be admitted, among the choirs of angels, having shut out all things of the earth both from without and within.