Chap. XIV Of the Ardent Desire of Some Devout Persons to Receive the Body of Christ
The Voice of the Disciple.
1. Oh! how great is the abundance of thy sweetness, O Lord, which thou hast laid up for them that fear thee. Psalms xxx.
When I remember some devout persons, who come to thy sacrament with the greatest devotion and affection, I am often confounded and ashamed within myself, that I approach so tepidly and coldly to thy altar, and to the table of the holy communion;
That I remain so dry, and without affection of heart; that I am not wholly set on fire in thy presence, O my God; nor so earnestly drawn and affected, as many devout persons have been, who, out of a vehement desire of communion, and a sensible love in their hearts, could not contain themselves from weeping;
But with their whole souls eagerly thirsted to approach, both with the mouth of their heart and of their body, to thee, O God, the living Fountain; being in no wise able to moderate or satisfy their hunger, but by receiving thy body with all joy and spiritual greediness.
2. Oh! true ardent faith of these persons, being a probable argument of thy sacred presence!
For they truly know their Lord in the breaking of bread, whose heart burneth so mightily within them, from Jesus his walking with them. Luke xxiv.
Such affection and devotion as this, so vehement a love and burning, is often far from me.
Be thou merciful to me, O good Jesus, sweet and gracious Lord; and grant me, thy poor beggar, to feel, sometimes at least, in the sacred communion, some little of the cordial affection of thy love, that my faith may be more strengthened, my hope in thy goodness increased, and that my charity, being once perfectly enkindled, and having tasted the Manna of heaven, may never decay.
3. Moreover, thy mercy is able to give me the grace I desire, and to visit me in thy great clemency with the spirit of fervour, when it shall please thee:
For though I burn not at present with so great a desire as those that are so singularly devoted to thee; yet, by thy grace, I desire to have this same great inflamed desire; praying and wishing that I may be made partaker with all such thy fervent lovers, and be numbered in their holy company.