Chap. VII That Grace Is to Be Hid Under the Guardianship of Humility
My Son, it is more and more safe for thee to hide the grace of devotion and not to be elevated with it, not to speak much of it, not to consider it much; but rather to despise thyself the more, and to be afraid of it as given to one unworthy.
Thou must not depend too much on this affection, which may be quickly changed into the contrary.
When thou hast grace, think with thyself how miserable and poor thou art wont to be, when thou art without it.
Nor does the progress of a spiritual life consist so much in having the grace of consolation, as in bearing the want of it with humility, resignation, and patience; so as not to grow remiss in thy exercise of prayer at that time, nor to suffer thyself to omit any of thy accustomed good works.
But that thou willingly do what lies in thee, according to the best of thy ability and understanding; and take care not wholly to neglect thyself through the dryness or anxiety of mind which thou feelest.
2. For there are many, who, when it succeeds not well with them, presently grow impatient or slothful.
Now the way of man is not always in his own power; but it belongs to God to give, and to comfort when he will, and as much as he will, and whom he will, as it shall please him, and no more.
Some wanting discretion, have ruined themselves upon occasion of the grace of devotion; because they were for doing more than they could, not weighing well the measure of their own weakness, but following rather the inclination of the heart than the judgment of reason.
And because they presumptuously undertook greater things than were pleasing to God, therefore they quickly lost his grace.
They became needy, and were left in a wretched condition, who had built themselves a nest in heaven; to the end, that being thus humbled and impoverished, they may learn not to trust to their own wings, but to hide themselves under mine.
Those who are as yet but novices and unexperienced in the way of the Lord, if they will not govern themselves by the counsel of the discreet, will easily be deceived and overthrown.
3. And if they will rather follow their own judgment than believe others that have more experience, they will be in danger of coming off ill if they continue to refuse to lay down their own conceits.
They that are wise in their own eyes seldom humbly suffer themselves to be ruled by others.
It is better to have little knowledge with humility, and a weak understanding, than greater treasures of learning with a vain self-complacence.
It is better for thee to have less than much, which may puff thee up with pride.
He is not so discreet as he ought, who gives himself up wholly to joy, forgetting his former poverty, and the chaste fear of God, which apprehends the losing of that grace which is offered.
Neither is he so virtuously wise, who in the time of adversity, or any tribulation whatsoever, carries himself in a desponding way, and conceives and feels less confidence in me than he ought.
4. He, who is too secure in the time of peace, will often be found too much dejected and fearful in the time of war.
If thou couldst always continue humble and little in thy own eyes, and keep thy spirit in due order and subjection, thou wouldst not fall so easily into danger and offence.
It is a good counsel, that when thou hast conceived the spirit of fervour, thou shouldst meditate how it will be with thee when that light shall leave thee.
Which when it shall happen remember that the light may return again, which for a caution to thee, and for my glory, I have withdrawn from thee for a time.
5. Such a trial is oftentimes more profitable than if thou wert always to have prosperity according to thy will.
For a man’s merits are not to be estimated by his having many visions of consolations; or by his knowledge of scriptures, or by his being placed in a more elevated station:
But by his being grounded in true humility, and replenished with divine charity: by his seeking always purely and entirety the honour of God; by his esteeming himself to be nothing, and sincerely despising himself; and being better pleased to be despised and humbled by others, than to be honoured by them.