Chap. VIII Of the Mean Esteem of One’s Self in the Sight of God
1. I will speak to my Lord, I that am but dust and ashes. Genesis xviii.
If I think any thing better of myself, behold thou standest against me; and my sins bear witness to the truth, and I cannot contradict it.
But if I vilify myself, and acknowledge my own nothing, and cast away all manner of esteem of myself; and, as I really am, account myself to be mere dust, thy grace will be favourable to me, and thy light will draw nigh to my heart, and all self esteem, how small soever, will be sunk in the depth of my own nothingness, and there lose itself for ever.
It is there thou shewest me to myself, what I am, what I have been, and what I am come to: for I am nothing, and I knew it not.
If I am left to myself, behold I am nothing, and all weakness; but if thou suddenly look upon me, I presently become strong, and am filled with a new joy.
And it is very wonderful that I am so quickly raised up, and so graciously embraced by thee; I, who by my own weight am always sinking to the bottom.
2. It is thy love that effects this, freely preventing me, and assisting me in so many necessities; preserving me also from grievous dangers; and, as I may truly say, delivering me from innumerable evils.
For by an evil loving of myself, I lost myself; and by seeking thee alone and purely loving thee, I found both myself and thee, and by this love have more profoundly annihilated myself.
Because thou, O most sweet Lord, dost deal with me above all desert, and above all that I dare hope or ask for.
8. Blessed be thou, O my God; for though I am unworthy of all good, yet thy generosity and infinite goodness never ceaseth to do good even to those that are ungrateful, and that are turned away from thee.
O convert us to thee, that we may be thankful, humble, and devout; for thou art our salvation, our power and our strength.