An Ode to Be Performed on the Opening of the New College. R. Harris Barham
Whene’er with pitying eye I view
Each operative sot in town,
I smile to think how wondrous few
Get drunk who study at the U-
niversity we’ve Got in town—
niversity we’ve Got in town.
What precious fools “The People” grew, Their alma mater not in town; The “useful classes” hardly knew Four was composed of two and two, Until they learned it at the U-niversity we’ve Got in town— niversity we’ve Got in town.
But now they’re taught by JOSEPH HU-ME, by far the cleverest Scot in town, Their ITEMS and their TOTTLES too; Each may dissect his sister Sue, From his instructions at the U-niversity we’ve Got in town— niversity we’ve Got in town.
Then L——E comes, like him how few Can caper and can trot in town, In PIROUETTE or PAS DE DEUX— He beats the famed MONSIEUR GIROUX, And teaches dancing at the U-niversity we’ve Got in town— niversity we’ve Got in town.
And GILCHRIST, see, that great Geentoo-
Professor, has a lot in town
Of Cockney boys who fag Hindoo,
And LARN JEM-NASTICS at the U-
niversity we’ve Got in town—
niversity we’ve Got in town.
SAM R—- corpse of vampire hue,
Comes from its grave to rot in town;
For Bays the dead bard’s crowned with Yew,
And chants, the Pleasures of the U-
niversity we’ve Got in town—
niversity we’ve Got in town.
FRANK JEFFREY, of the Scotch Review,— Whom MOORE had nearly shot in town,— Now, with his pamphlet stitched in blue And yellow, d—ns the other two, But lauds the ever-glorious U-niversity we’ve Got in town— niversity we’ve Got in town.
Great BIRBECK, king of chips and glue, Who paper oft does blot in town, From the Mechanics’ Institu-tion, comes to prate of wedge and screw, Lever and axle at the U-niversity we’ve Got in town— niversity we’ve Got in town.
LORD WAITHAM, who long since withdrew From Mansion House to cot in town; Adorn’d with chair of ormolu, All darkly grand, like Prince Lee Boo, Lectures on FREE TRADE at the U-niversity we’ve Got in town— niversity we’ve Got in town.
Fat F——, with his coat of blue, Who speeches makes so hot in town, In rhetoric, spells his lectures through, And sounds the V for W, The VAY THEY SPEAKS it at the U-niversity we’ve Got in town— niversity we’ve Got in town.
Then H——E comes, who late at New-gate Market, sweetest spot in town! Instead of one clerk popp’d in two, To make a place for his ne-phew, Seeking another at the U-niversity we’ve Got in town— niversity we’ve Got in town.
There’s Captain ROSS, a traveler true, Has just presented, what in town- ’s an article of great VIRTU (The telescope he once peep’d through, And ‘spied an Esquimaux canoe On Croker Mountains), to the U-niversity we’ve Got in town— niversity we’ve Got in town.
Since MICHAEL gives no roast nor stew, Where Whigs might eat and plot in town, And swill his port, and mischief brew— Poor CREEVY sips his water gru-el as the beadle of the U-niversity we’ve Got in town— niversity we’ve Got in town,
There’s JERRY BENTHAM and his crew, Names ne’er to be forgot in town, In swarms like Banquo’s long is-sue— Turk, Papist, Infidel and Jew, Come trooping on to join the U-niversity we’ve Got in town— niversity we’ve Got in town.
To crown the whole with triple queue— Another such there’s not in town, Twitching his restless nose askew, Behold tremendous HARRY BROUGH-AM! Law Professor at the U-niversity we’ve Got in town— niversity we’ve Got in town.
Grand Chorus
Huzza! huzza! for HARRY BROUGH-
AM! Law Professor at the U-
niversity we’ve Got in town—
niversity we’ve Got in town.