Scene II
To them Nausistrata.
Naus. Who calls for me?
Chrem. Confusion!
Naus. (to Chremes). Pray, my dear,
What’s this disturbance?
Phor. Dumb, old Truepenny!
Naus. Who is this man?—Why don’t you answer me? (To Chremes.)
Phor. He answer you! he’s hardly in his senses.
Chrem. Never believe him!
Phor. Do but go and touch him;
He’s in a shivering fit, I’ll lay my life.
Chrem. Nay——
Naus. But what means he then?
Phor. I’ll tell you, madam;
Do but attend!
Chrem. Will you believe him then?
Naus. What is there to believe, when he says nothing?
Phor. Poor man! his fear deprives him of his wits.
Naus. (to Chremes). I’m sure you’re not so much afraid for nothing.
Chrem. What! I afraid? (Endeavoring to take heart.)
Phor. Oh, not at all!—And since
You’re in no fright, and what I say means nothing,
Tell it yourself.
Dem. At your desire, you rascal?
Phor. Oh, you’ve done rarely for your brother, Sir!
Naus. What! Won’t you tell me, husband?
Chrem. But——
Naus. But what?
Chrem. There’s no occasion for it.
Phor. Not for you:
But for the Lady there is much occasion.
In Lemnos——
Chrem. Ha! what say you?
Dem. (to Phormio). Hold your peace!
Phor. Without your knowledge——
Chrem. Oh dear!
Phor. He has had
Another wife.
Naus. My husband? Heav’n forbid!
Phor. ’Tis even so.
Naus. Ah me! I am undone.
Phor. —And had a daughter by her there; while you
Was left to sleep in ignorance alone.
Naus. Oh Heavens!—Baseness!—Treachery!
Phor. ’Tis fact.
Naus. Was ever any thing more infamous?
When they’re with us, their wives forsooth, they’re old.
—Demipho, I appeal to you: for him
I can not bear to speak to.—And were these
His frequent journeys and long stay at Lemnos?
Was this the cheapness that reduc’d our rents?
Dem. That he has been to blame, Nausistrata,
I don’t deny; but not beyond all pardon.
Phor. You’re talking to the dead.
Dem. It was not done
Out of aversion or contempt to you.
In liquor, almost fifteen years ago,
He met this woman, whence he had this daughter;
Nor e’er had commerce with her from that hour.
She’s dead: your only grievance is remov’d.
Wherefore I beg you’d show your wonted goodness,
And bear it patiently.
Naus. How! bear it patiently?
Alas! I wish his vices might end here.
But have I the least hope? can I suppose
That years will cure these rank offenses in him?
Ev’n at that time he was already old,
If age could make him modest.—Are my years
And beauty, think ye, like to please him more
At present, Demipho, than formerly?
—In short, what ground, what reason to expect
That he should not commit the same hereafter?
Phor. (aloud). Whoever would attend the funeral
Of Chremes, now’s the time!—See! that’s my way.
Come on then! provoke Phormio now, who dares!
Like Chremes, he shall fall a victim to me.
—Let him get into favor when he will!
I’ve had revenge sufficient. She has something
To ring into his ears his whole life long.
Naus. Have I deserv’d this?—Need I, Demipho,
Number up each particular, and say
How good a wife I’ve been?
Dem. I know it all.
Naus. Am I then justly treated?
Dem. Not at all.
But since reproaches can’t undo what’s done,
Forgive him! he begs pardon; owns his fault;
And promises to mend.—What would you more?
Phor. But hold; before she ratifies his pardon,
I must secure myself and Phædria. (Aside.)
—Nausistrata, a word!—Before you give
Your answer rashly, hear me!
Naus. What’s your pleasure?
Phor. I trick’d your husband there of thirty minæ,
Which I have giv’n your son; and he has paid them
To a procurer for a mistress.
Chrem. How!
What say you?
Naus. Is it such a heinous crime
For your young son, d’ye think, to have one mistress,
While you have two wives?—Are you not asham’d?
Have you the face to chide him? answer me!
Dem. He shall do ev’ry thing you please.
Naus. Nay, nay,
To tell you plainly my whole mind at once,
I’ll not forgive, nor promise any thing,
Nor give an answer, till I see my son.
Phor. Wisely resolv’d, Nausistrata.
Naus. Is that
Sufficient satisfaction for you?
Phor. Quite.
I rest contented, well pleas’d, past my hopes.
Naus. What is your name, pray?
Phor. My name? Phormio:
A faithful friend to all your family,
Especially to Phædria.
Naus. Trust me, Phormio,
I’ll do you all the service in my power.
Phor. I’m much oblig’d to you.
Naus. You’re worthy on’t.
Phor. Will you then even now, Nausistrata,
Grant me one favor that will pleasure me,
And grieve your husband’s sight?
Naus. With all my soul.
Phor. Ask me to supper!
Naus. I invite you.
Dem. In then!
Naus. We will. But where is Phædria, our judge?
Phor. He shall be with you.— (To the Audience.)
Farewell; Clap your hands!
The End