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The Comedies of Terence

by Terence

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Scene VI

Enter Demipho at another part of the stage.

Dem. How’s this? a wife! what, Antipho! and ne’er

Ask my consent?—nor my authority——

Or, grant we pass authority, not dread

My wrath at least?—To have no sense of shame?

—Oh, impudence!—Oh, Geta, rare adviser!

Geta. Geta at last.

Dem. What they will say to me,

Or what excuse they will devise, I wonder.

Geta. Oh, we have settled that already: think

Of something else.

Dem. Will he say this to me,

—“Against my will I did it”—“Forc’d by law”——

—I hear you: I confess it.

Geta. Very well.

Dem. But conscious of the fraud, without a word

In answer or defense, to yield the cause

Tamely to your opponents—did the law

Force you to that too?

Phæd. That’s home.

Geta. Give me leave.

I’ll manage it.

Dem. I know not what to do:

This stroke has come so unawares upon me,

Beyond all expectation, past belief.

—I’m so enrag’d, I can’t compose my mind

To think upon it.—Wherefore ev’ry man,

When his affairs go on most swimmingly,

Ev’n then it most behooves to arm himself

Against the coming storm: loss, danger, exile,

Returning ever let him look to meet;

His son in fault, wife dead, or daughter sick——

All common accidents, and may have happen’d;

That nothing should seem new or strange. But if

Aught has fall’n out beyond his hopes, all that Let him account clear gain.

Geta. Oh, Phædria,

’Tis wonderful how much a wiser man

I am than my old master. My misfortunes

I have consider’d well.—At his return

Doom’d to grind ever in the mill, beat, chain’d,

Or set to labor in the fields; of these

Nothing will happen new. If aught falls out

Beyond my hopes, all that I’ll count clear gain.

—But why delay t’accost th’ old gentleman,

And speak him fair at first? (Phædria goes forward.)

Dem. Methinks I see

My nephew Phædria.

Phæd. My good Uncle, welcome!

Dem. Your servant!—But where’s Antipho?

Phæd. I’m glad

To see you safe——

Dem. Well, well!—But answer me.

Phæd. He’s well: hard by.—But have affairs turn’d out

According to your wishes?

Dem. Would they had!

Phæd. Why, what’s the matter?

Dem. What’s the matter, Phædria?

You’ve clapp’d up a fine marriage in my absence.

Phæd. What! are you angry with him about that?

Geta. Well counterfeited!

Dem. Should I not be angry?

Let me but set eyes on him, he shall know

That his offenses have converted me

From a mild father to a most severe one.

Phæd. He has done nothing, Uncle, to offend you.

Dem. See, all alike! the whole gang hangs together:

Know one, and you know all.

Phæd. Nay, ’tis not so.

Dem. One does a fault, the other’s hard at hand

To bear him out: when t’other slips, he’s ready:

Each in their turn!

Geta. I’ faith th’ old gentleman

Has blunder’d on their humors to a hair.

Dem. For, were’t not so, you’d not defend him, Phædria.

Dem. If ’twere not so, you’d not defend him, Phædria.

Phæd. If, Uncle, Antipho has done a wrong,

Or to his interest or reputation,

I am content he suffer as he may:

But if another, with malicious fraud,

Has laid a snare for unexperienced youth,

And triumph’d o’er it; can you lay the blame

On us, or on the judges, who oft take

Through envy from the rich, or from compassion

Add to the poor?

Geta. Unless I knew the cause,

I should imagine this was truth he spoke.

Dem. What judge can know the merits on your side,

When you put in no plea; as he has done?

Phæd. He has behav’d like an ingenuous youth.

When he came into court, he wanted pow’r

To utter what he had prepar’d, so much

He was abash’d by fear and modesty.

Geta. Oh brave!—But why, without more loss of time,

Don’t I accost th’ old man! (Going up.) My master, welcome!

I am rejoic’d to see you safe return’d.

Dem. What! my good master Governor! your slave!

The prop! the pillar of our family!

To whom, at my departure hence, I gave

My son in charge.

Geta. I’ve heard you for some time

Accuse us all quite undeservedly,

And me, of all, most undeservedly.

For what could I have done in this affair?

A slave the laws will not allow to plead;

Nor can he be an evidence.

Dem. I grant it.

Nay more—the boy was bashful—I allow it.

—You but a slave.—But if she had been prov’d

Ever so plainly a relation, why

Needed he marry her? and why not rather

Give her, according to the law, a portion,

And let her seek some other for a husband?

Why did he rather bring a beggar home?

Geta. ’Twas not the thought, but money that was wanting.

Dem. He might have borrow’d it!

Geta. Have borrow’d it!

Easily said.

Dem. If not to be had else,

On interest.

Geta. Nay, now indeed you’ve hit it!

Who would advance him money in your life?

Dem. Well, well, it shall not, and it can not be,

That I should suffer her to live with him

As wife a single day. There is no cause.

—Would I might see that fellow, or could tell

Where he resides!

Geta. What, Phormio!

Dem. The girl’s Patron.

Geta. He shall be with you straight.

Dem. Where’s Antipho?

Phæd. Abroad.

Dem. Go, Phædria; find him, bring him here.

Phæd. I’ll go directly.

Exit

Geta (aside). Aye, to Pamphila.

Exit

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