LXIII Gimblits
When a man loses hiz health then he fust begins tew take good care on it. This iz good judgment! this iz!
Most people decline tew learn only bi their own experiense. I guess they are more than ½ right, for I don’t serpoze a man can git a perfek idee on molasses kandy bi letting another feller taste it for him.
It iz a getting so no-a-daze if a man kant cheat in sum way he aint happy.
Success in life iz verry apt tew make us forget the time when we wasn’t much. It iz jist so with the frog on the jump; he kant remember when he waz a tadpole—but other folks kan.
An individual, tew be a fine gentleman, has either got tew be born so or be brought up so from infansy; he kant learn it suddin enny more than he kan larn how tew tork injun correkly bi praktising on a tommyhawk.
I wonder if thare ever waz an olde maid who ever herd on a match that she thought waz suitable.
If a man wants tew git at hiz aktual dimenshuns, let him visit a grave-yard.
I suppoze Adam iz the only man who ever lived and want never spanked.
I hav oftin sett down square on the ice, bi having mi feet git out ov plase; but i never could see ennything in it tew laff at, (espeshila if thare waz sum water on the top ov the ise,) but i notis other folks kan.
Precepts are like kold bukwheat slap-jacks,—noboddy feels like being sassy tew them, nor noboddy wants tew adopt them.
If enny man wants tew be an olde bachelor, and git sick at a boarding tavern, and hav a back room in the 4th story, and hav a red haired chambermaid bring hiz water gruel tew him in a tin wash-basin, I hav alwus sed, and i stick tew it yet, he haz got a perfek right tew dew it.
It iz dreadful eazy work tew repent ov other folks sins—but not very profitable.