XLIX Them Good Old Daze
As Longed for by Josh Billings
How i dew long (once in a whyle) for them good old daze.
Them daze when the sun didn’t rise before brekfast.
Them daze when thare waz more fun in 30 cents than thare is now in 7 dollars and a half.
Them daze when a man marrid 145 pounds ov woman, and less than 9 pounds (awl told) ov ennything else.
How i dew long for them good old daze, when edukashun only konsissted in what a man did well.
Them daze when deakons waz az austear az hoss radish, and ministers preached tew men’s soals instead of their pockets.
Them daze when pollyticks was the excepshun, and honesty the rule.
How i dew long for them good old daze when lap-dorgs and wett nusses warn’t known, and when brown bred and baked-goose made a good dinner.
Them daze when a man who want bizzy was watched, and when wimmin spun only that kind ov yarn that was good for the darning ov stockings.
How i dew long for them good old daze when now and then a gal baby was called Jerusha, and a boy want spilte if he was named Jerrymiah.
Aul yee who hav tried the feathers and fuss ov life, who hav had the codfish ov wealth, without sense, stuck under yure noze, cum beneath this tree, and long for an hour with me, for them good old daze when men were ashamed tew be fools, and wimmin were fraid tew be flirts.
N.B.—They used tew maik a milk punch in them daze too, that was very handy tew take.