A Political Litany Political Litany on the Times
When the present ministry shall cease their humbuging tricks, and do that which is lawful and right for the benefit of the working classes, then, and not till then, shall they receive our praise.
Dearly Beloved Brethren—Hunger moveth us at various times and in sundry places, to make known unto our Most Gracious Majesty, the Queen Victoria, our dreadful wants and sufferings, and although we ought at all times humbly to acknowledge our Most Gracious Majesty the Queen, yet the cry of our starving children prevent us from so doing.
The Lesson for the Day is taken from the present hard times.
And it came to pass in the year ’65, that there was a great stoppage in the tide of politics, and the steersman, Pam, gave up the helm; and the Queen sent unto the Land o’ Cakes for a certain little man of the tribe of Russellites, well known by the name of Financial Jack, by some called Little John, who being fond of lollipops, and having a sweet tooth, it will be remembered he called out lustily for cheap sugar.
And when he arrived at the Castle, which is situated near unto the great park at Windsor, the Queen said unto him, Johnny, Johnny, thy friend Pam has cut his stick, and if thou thinkest thyself strong enough, the place is thine.
Whereupon the little man bowed and bowed till the rim fell off his hat; but when he tried on the garments of Pam, the coat fitted him like unto a purser’s coat on a marlin-spike.
And the people murmured, saying, this man is totally unfit for the berth, but for the want of a better he was accepted.
Amen.
And about this time there arose in the Land of Spuds tribes of men who call themselves Feenanites, who promised to march unto the house of St. Stephen’s straightway, to get something taken from them by honest John Bull.
But a messenger came from that land to the house of St. Stephen’s straightway, to inform the inmates thereof they were in danger.
And there was great trouble in the House, and the servants arose and went out to meet them.
But when they arrived near unto that part of the land, behold, they had flew, leaving nought behind them to take back but a few sticks, like unto popguns, with which they had been learning to play at soldiers, so they returned home.
Amen.
And O, Gladstone, thou good and faithful servant of the late Steersman Pam, take unto thyself the helm of the good ship Great Britain, and steer it safely through the troubled waters that now surround it.
Amen.
Let us say,
From all impositions of unjust stewards,
O Queen deliver us,
We beseech thee to hear us, O Queen.
And O Johnny, if thou take unto thyself the helm of the good ship Great Britain, steer her safely through the troubled waters of poverty that now surround her.
Hear us, O Russell.
We beseech thee to hear us, O Jack.
And from being slaughtered by the Fenians,
O Queen deliver us.
We beseech thee to hear us, O Vick.
And from all heavy taxation,
O Johnny, save us.
We beseech thee to hear us, O Russell.
And from all bad meat, O Queen deliver us.
We beseech thee to hear us, O Queen.
And O thou mighty Queen, grant that we may have a cheap loaf, and each man paid justly for his daily labour, that we may live in peace and happiness both now and for evermore.
Amen.
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