The Frolicsome Parson Outwitted. Outwitted
Come all you hearty roving blades, and listen to my song,
A verse or two I will unfold, and will not keep you long,
It is of a frolicsome parson, as you shall quickly hear,
That dwelt in the town of Ledbury, in the county of Herefordshire.
The parson being a rakish blade, and fond of sporting games,
He fell in love with the pretty cook, as I have heard the same;
The parlour-maid found out the same, and in the fruit room looked,
And there she saw the parson sporting with the cook.
It was in nine months after she brought him forth a child,
Within the rectory it was born, it drove him nearly wild:
It proved to be a male child, at least they tell us so,
Then this damsel from the rectory was quickly forced to go.
Then the secret to unfold, it was her full intent,
During the time of service into the church she went,
Holding the child up in her arms, and on the parson gazed,
Saying, lovely babe, that is your dad, which filled him with amaze.
The congregation they all stared, the parson seemed confused,
And many a lad and lass no doubt, within them felt amused;
Such a scene as this was never known within this church before,
Let us hope that it will be the last, and the like shall be no more.
’Twas then a court was called in town, for to invest the case.
There the parson, cook, and parlour-maid they met face to face,
And many more in court appeared, to hear the sport and fun,
This damsel swore the parson was the father of her son.
Your reverence; you are found to blame the Justices declared,
Although some honest country lad you thought for to ensnare;
So with all your doctrine and your skill unto him they did say,
A half-a-crown each week to the child you’ve got to pay.
His reverence felt dissatisfied with such a glorious treat,
To a higher court he did proceed, and there was quickly beat,
So this damsel she’s victorious, the truth I now declare,
And his reverence is suspended for the period of five years.
Come all you blooming servant maids a warning take by this,
When in service with the parsons don’t be treated to a kiss;
Or it may cause much jealousy, as you may all well know,
Then you from service must be gone your sorrows for to rue.
Now to conclude and make an end and finish up my song,
All you young men that’s deep in love, be sure don’t stay too long;
Join hand in hand in wedlock’s band without the least delay,
Before the fairest of all girls is by parsons led astray.