Fable LX Two Young Men and the Cook
Two young men went into a cook’s shop, under pretence of buying meat; and while the cook’s back was turned, one of them snatched up a piece of beef, and gave it to his companion, who presently clapt it under his cloak. The cook turning about again, and missing his beef, began to charge them with it; upon which, he that first took it swore bitterly he had none of it. He that had it swore as heartily, that he had taken up none of his meat. Why look ye, gentlemen, says the cook, I see your equivocation; and though I can’t tell which of you has taken my meat, I am sure, between you both, there’s a thief, and a couple of rascals.
Morals
Evading the truth is just as blameable as denying it.
Thus quibbling thieves evade the charge,
Offend the laws, and go at large:
But though ’tis hard the crime to fix,
We know they’re guilty by their tricks.
Reflection
An honest man’s word is as good as his oath; and so is a rogue’s too; for he that will cheat and lie, why should he scruple to forswear himself? Is the latter more criminal than either of the former? An honest man needs no oath to oblige him; and a rogue only deceives you the more certainly by it, because you think you have tied him up, and he is sure you have not. In truth, it is not easy, with the eye of reason, to discern, that there is any good in swearing at all. We need not scruple to take an honest man’s bare asseveration; and we shall do wrong if we believe a rogue, though he swears by the most solemn oaths that can be invented.
There are, besides, a sort of people who are rogues, and yet don’t know that they are such; who, when they have taken an oath, make a scruple of breaking it, but rack their invention to evade it by some equivocation or other; by which, if they can but satisfy their acquaintance, and serve their own scheme they think all is well, and never once consider the black and heinous guilt which must attend such a behaviour. They solemnly call the supreme Being to witness; to what? to a sham, an evasion, a lie. Thus these unthinking, prevaricating wretches, at the same time that they believe there is a God, act as if there were none; or, which is worse, dare affront him in the highest degree. They who by swearing would clear themselves of a crime, of which they are really guilty, need not be at much pains about wording their oath; for, express themselves how they will, they are sure to be forsworn.