Juvenile Games
“What D’ye Buy?”
This game may be played by any number from three to thirteen. There are a dozen good-sized pieces of cardboard, each bearing a colored illustration of one of the “trades” following: viz., a milliner, a fishmonger, a greengrocer, plumber, a music-seller, a toyman, mason, a pastrycook, a hardware-man, a tailor, a poulterer, and a doctor. Besides these there are a number of smaller tickets, half a dozen to each trade. Each of these has the name of the particular trade and also the name of some article in which the particular tradesman in question may be considered to deal. A book accompanies the cards, containing a nonsense story, with a blank at the end of each sentence.
One of the players is chosen as leader, and the others each select a trade, receiving the appropriate picture, and the six cards containing the names of the articles in which the tradesman deals. He places his “sign” before him on the table, and holds the remainder of his cards in his hand. The leader then reads the story, and whenever he comes to one of the blanks, he glances towards one of the other players, who must immediately, under penalty of a forfeit, supply the blank with some article he sells, at the same time laying down the card bearing its name. The incongruity of the article named with the context make the fun of the game, which is heightened by the vigilance which each player must exercise in order to avoid a forfeit. Where the number of players is very small, each may undertake two or more trades.
We will quote a small portion of the story, by way of illustration. The concluding words indicate the trade of the person at whom the leader glances to fill up a given hiatus.
“Ladies and gentlemen, I propose to relate some curious adventures which befell me and my wife Peggy the other day, but as I am troubled with a complaint called ‘Non mi ricordo,’ or the ‘Can’t remembers,’ I shall want each of you to tell me what you sell: therefore when I stop and look at one of you, you must be brisk in recommending your goods. Whoever does not name something before I count ‘three’ must pay a forfeit. Attention!
“Last Friday week I was awoke very early in the morning by a loud knocking at my door in Humguffin Court. I got up in a great fright, and put on”—(looks at Toyman, who replies, “a fool’s cap and bells,” and lays down that card).
“When I got downstairs, who should there be but a fat porter, with a knot, on which he carried”—(Poulterer) “a pound of pork sausages.”
“‘Hallo!’ said I, ‘my fine fellow, what do you want at this time of day?’ He answered”—(Fishmonger) “A cod’s head and shoulders.”
“‘Get along with you,’ I said; ‘there’s my neighbor, Dr. Drenchall, I see, wants’”—(Butcher) “a sheep’s head.”
“I now went up to shave, but my soap-dish was gone, and the maid brought me instead”—(Milliner) “a lady’s chip hat.”
“My razor had been taken to chop firewood, so I used”—(Greengrocer) “a cucumber.”
“I then washed my face in”—(Doctor) “a cup of quinine,” “cleaned my teeth with”—(Fishmonger) “a fresh herring,” and “combed my hair with”—(Pastrycook) “a jam tart.”
“My best coat was taken possession of by pussy and kittens, so I whipped on”—(hardware-man) “a dripping pan.”
“The monkey, seeing how funny I looked, snatched off my wig, and clapped on my head”—(Poulterer) “a fat hen.”
“I now awoke my wife, and asked her what she had nice for breakfast; she said”—(Doctor) “a mustard plaster.”
“Then I scolded Sukey, the servant, and called her” (Poulterer) “a tough old turkey.”
“But she saucily told me I was no better than”—(Music-seller) “an old fiddle.”
“I soon had enough of that, so I asked my wife to go with me to buy”—(Tailor) “a pair of trousers.”
“But she said she must have her lunch first, which consisted of——” etc., etc., through half a dozen pages, the tradesmen supplying more or less appropriate articles to fill up the gaps in the discourse.
“A Trip To Paris.”
There is another game on the same principle, known by the somewhat ambitious title of “The most Laughable Thing on Earth; or A Trip to Paris.” The tickets for this game are nearly 150 in number, each containing name and grotesque sketch of some article or articles, as “a hod of mortar,” “a guinea-pig,” “a basin of gruel,” “a wheelbarrow,” “a jar of pickles,” “a tub of soft soap,” “two dozen eggs,” “Jemima’s new bonnet,” “some castor-oil,” “a penny whistle,” “a peck of peas,” etc., etc. The game is full of innocent nonsense and played precisely as in the last case (save that there is no reference to any particular trades). The story to be read by the leader commences as follows:
“Brown, Jones, and Robinson were walking together in the streets of Boston, when Brown suddenly exclaimed, ‘I will go to Paris, and return the personification of ——’
“‘I, too,’ said Jones, ‘should like to see Paris, but I have not got ——’
“‘And I should like to accompany you,’ said Robinson, ‘if I knew ——’
“‘Go with us then,” said Brown, ’and we’ll have ——’
“‘There’s an excursion train to New York in the morning; we can see the “lions” there on our way, and then take ——’
“It was now ‘Pack and off!’ Brown went to bid his friends good-bye, giving to each a parting gift. To an old schoolfellow he gave ——
“To Matilda Jane, a young lady who laid claim to his heart, he gave, with a kiss, ——
“Now, Matilda Jane would not be outdone, so she kissed him twice, and begged him to accept of ——
“Brown was perplexed, but he took the gift, and going home was saluted by the children, who shouted, ‘There goes a man with ——’
“That night he had wonderful dreams; he thought he was chased by ——
“And that he was trying to crowd into his carpetbag ——
“When a man came along and charged him with stealing ——
“He was enraged at this, and was about to pitch into the man, when he awoke, and found it all a dream, caused by his having eaten for supper ——
“He was early at the station, and on asking for a ticket, the clerk gave him ——”
And so on, in like manner. These last games, as a change from graver recreations, make a good deal of fun, particularly with young players.