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‹Better GutenbergThe Comic Poems of Thomas HoodTo Miss Kelly. On Her Opening the Strand Theatre · 67 of 204Contents›

The Comic Poems of Thomas Hood

by Thomas Hood

67 of 204 · Contents · Download EPUB

To Miss Kelly. On Her Opening the Strand Theatre

O BETTY—I beg pardon—Fanny K.
(I was just thinking of your Betty Finnikin)—
        Permit me this to say,
        In quite a friendly way—
I like your theatre, though but a minnikin;
For though small stages Kean dislikes to spout on,
Renounce me if I don’t agree with Dowton,
The Minors are the Passions’ proper schools
        For me, I never can
        Find wisdom in the plan
That keeps large reservoirs for little Pooles.

I like your boxes where the audience sit
A family circle; and your little pit;
I like your little stage, where you discuss
        Your pleasant bill of fare,
And show us passengers so rich and rare,
Your little stage seems quite an omnibus.

I like exceedingly your Parthian dame,
Dimly remembering dramatic codgers,
The ghost of Memory—the shade of Fame!—
Lord! what a housekeeper for Mr. Rogers!
I like your savage, of a one-horse power;
And Terence, done in Irish from the Latin;
And Sally—quite a kitchen-garden flower;
And Mrs. Drake, serene in sky-blue satin!
I like your girl as speechless as a mummy—
        It shows you can play dummy!—
I like your boy, deprived of every gleam
Of light for ever—a benighted being!
And really think—though Irish it may seem—
        Your blindness is worth seeing.

I like your Governess; and there’s a striking
Tale of Two Brothers, that sets tears a-flowing—
        But I’m not going
All through the bill to tell you of my liking.
Suffice it, Fanny Kelly! with your art
So much in love, like others I have grown,
I really mean myself to take a part
In “Free and Easy”—at my own bespeak—
        And shall three times a week
Drop in and make your pretty house my own!

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