Chap. III That It Is Good for One’s Health to Get Drunk Sometimes
Although mirth and joy be absolutely necessary to health, yet it must be allowed that there are a great many pleasures very injurious and prejudicial to it; and we should act with precaution in using those we make choice of1. But this precaution is not necessary in those we seek in the sweet juice of the grape. So far is drunkenness from prejudicing our health, that, on the contrary, it highly preserves it. This is the sentiment of the most able physicians. These worthy gentlemen are arbiters of life and death. They have over us, jus vitæ et necis. We must therefore believe them. Ergo, let us heartily carouse. Every one knows that Hippocrates, the prince of physicians, prescribes getting drunk once a month, as a thing very necessary to the conservation of health; for, according to him, in the words of a certain French lady 2,
“Une utile et douce chaleur
Fait qu’on pense au sortir de table
Avoir pris de cet or potable,
Qui triomphe des ans, qui chasse la douleur,
Qui fait tout, et qui par malheur
N’a jamais été qu’une fable.”
When from the bottle, flush’d with wine, we rise,
The brisk effluvia brighten in our eyes;
This sweet and useful warmth still makes us think,
That cups of potable rich gold we drink,
Which baffles time, and triumphs over years,
Drives away grief, and sad perplexing cares;
Does all, and yet in fables sweet disguise,
O dire mishap! its only essence lies.
“Avicenna and Rasis, most excellent physicians of Arabia, say3, that it is a thing very salutary and wholesome to get drunk sometimes.”
Monsieur Hofman confirms what has been just now said in relation to Avicenna, and adds thereto the testimony of another physician. “Avicenna,” says he4, “absolutely approves getting drunk once or twice every month, and alleges for it physical reasons.”—Dioscorides says, “That drunkenness is not always hurtful, but that very often it is necessary for the conservation of health.”—Homer says, “That Nestor, who lived so long, tossed off huge bocals of wine5.”
Monsieur Hofman believes also, that wine is an excellent preservative against distempers, and of an admirable use in their cure. In like manner, several divines believe, that there is no manner of harm in getting drunk, when it is done for health’s sake and not for pleasure. In this class one may reckon Pere Taverne, a Jesuit6. These are his words: “Drunkenness,” says he, “is a mortal sin, if one falls into it for pleasure only; but if one gets drunk for any honest end, as for example, by direction of one’s physician in order to recover health, there is no manner of harm in it at all.”
But, however, not to digress too much from our subject, to preserve their health the Africans drink a great deal of wine; and this they do to help the digestion of the vast quantity of fruits they eat.
Montaigne7 tells us, that he heard Silvius, an excellent physician of Paris, say, “That to keep up the powers of the stomach, that they faint not, it would be very proper to rouze them up once a month by this wholesome excess. And if we believe Regnier, a young physician does not see so far as an old drunkard8.
We also say with the French poet9,
“Si Bourdaloue10 un peu severe
Nous dit: craignez la volupté
Escobar10, lui dit on mon pere
Nous la permet pour la santé!”
If Bourdaloue, somewhat severe,
Warns us to dread voluptuous sweets,
Good honest father Escobar,
To fuddle for one’s health permits.
And, by the bye, if the number of physicians, who used to get drunk, proves any thing, I could insert a good round catalogue, amongst whom I do not find any English doctors, for they are the most abstemious persons in the world; however, being unwilling to trouble my gentle reader with so long a bead-roll, I shall instance only two very illustrious topers of the faculty. The first is no less a man than the great Paracelsus, who used to get drunk very often; and the other is the famous master Dr. Francis Rabelais, who took a singular pleasure to moisten his clay; or to make use of one of his own expressions, Humer le piot.
I could, after these, mention Patin11, who tells us, That when he gave his public entertainment for his decanat, or deanship, at which thirty-six of his colleagues assisted, he never saw in all his life so much toping. From all which, however, one may very reasonably infer, that so many able persons would never have drunk so much, had they not thought it was no ways prejudicial to their health.
To conclude, let any one allege this verse as a maxim, that Pocula non lædunt paucula, multa nocent.
It does no harm to take a glass or two,
But in great numbers mighty ills accrue.
And I shall do myself the honour to answer him with another verse, that sometimes
Una salus sanis multam potare salutem12.
The only health to people hale and sound,
Is to have many a tippling health go round.
And that this is true, witness the great Hippocrates, who says,
That what to health conduceth best,
Is fuddling once a month at least13.
1. Voluptates ut mel summo digito degustandæ non plerâ manu sumendæ. Dionys. Sophron. apud Philostr.
2. Mad. Deshoul. t. ii. ep. p. 104.
3. Div. Lec. de P. Messie, part ii. ch. 15.
4. Hofman, t. ii. 9 dissert. ch. 6.
5. Bocal, an Italian word, and signifies a pot or jug holding about three pints.
6. Synopses Theolog. Pract.
7. Essays, lib. ii. cap. 2.
8. Satir.
9. Boileau.
10. The names of two jesuits, the former a famous preacher, and the other as famous a casuist.
11. Esprit de Pat. p. 51.
12. Owen, Ep. John Owen (1564-1622): possibly I.ii.42.
13. Qu’il faut a chaque mois.
Du moin s’enyvrer une fois.
Fureteriana.